Last month I had the privilege of serving at a Care Point in Ntabas, Swaziland. Care Points are places where kids of all ages can come to hang out during the day, or after school, and receive a free meal. We spend a lot of time with the kids developing friendships, playing sports, and studying the Bible. Most of the kids come from very hard family situations that deal with poverty, alcoholism, father abandonment, abuse, and many other issues. For a lot of them, the meal they get at the Care Point is the only meal they will eat that day. I absolutely love working with the youth, especially youth that come from very hard family situations. When I found out this is what I would be doing for the month, I was beyond excited and believed great stories were to come from this month.
The story I am going to tell you however, I did not see coming. I hope as you read this you feel the hurt of this story and identify with a side of Jesus that I feel is often forgot or misunderstood in the church today.
She walked into the Care Point with nothing more than her food plate, just as she had done everyday. We will call her, Nicole, for the sake of her privacy. Nicole is 8 years old and has such a contagious happiness about her. The only expressions I saw come from her for 3 weeks were smiles and laughter. She loves to run around, play games, sing, dance, and play little pranks on everyone; especially the playing pranks part.
As I saw Nicole enter the gate, I began to walk towards her to give her a hug as I did each morning. Before we reached each other though, a group of kids gathered around her and began to chant and laugh at her while pointing at her feet. Since they all speak Seswati, I had no idea what they were saying. Then the group reached down and took the shoes off her feet and ran away. I thought they were joking and playing with her until I looked at Nicole’s face. The smile she usually had was no where to be seen. There was no laughter and her eyes looked hollow. She stood there with her head ducked down. I thought the group had hazed her or something and I kind of got mad.
I picked up Nicole and asked the ladies, who worked at the Care Point, what happened. They told me that Nicole stole the shoes from the Care Point the day before and the group was chanting that she was a thief. They were making fun of her for it. The ladies then said something to Nicole; I don’t know what because it was not in English, but it only deepened the same hollow look in her eyes.
What happened next, I was not prepared for.
My heart broke for Nicole. I was moved to tears as I saw what this taunting did to her. The only words that came to me were, “Come as you are,” which Jesus spoke to His followers. These words helped me know that all God wanted me to do that day was love this little girl. I knew she was feeling shame from being caught with shoes that weren’t hers, embarrassment from the group, hurt from going back to having no shoes, and abandonment because no one wanted to be around her. I knew that day was designed for me to show her love that goes beyond actions. So, I loved her. I spent the rest of the day playing games with her, holding her, talking to her (even though she had no idea what I was saying), and playing little pranks on her. After a few hours, the blank face turned to smiles. The gleam was restored to her hollow eyes, and the silence of shame turned to laughter. She was back, and I was so happy for her.
I went back to my homestead that night and thought about what happened. It wasn’t some long process in which I needed to figure out what God had done. It was as simple as this: God loves Nicole unconditionally. Despite the mistake she made, God loved her through it. In that moment at the Care Point, I realized that even though the world was shaming her for something she had done, His love didn’t change.
That’s what He does for each one of us.
He loves through the messy stuff in our lives day after day. There isn’t anything we can do, no place we can run, no hole too deep, no height to high, no where we can hide to escape the great love God has for us. As much as this girl needed to see this…I did too. I am messy. I am broken. I hurt, and sometimes I hurt others. I have insecurities that I am embarrassed of. I have been through a lot of hard times in my life, that from time to time, make me feel like a piece of trash. I’m dirty. I have stains and stories from my past that would make you drop your jaw. Sometimes I don’t understand God’s love. Sometimes I am mad at God. Sometimes I doubt Him.
But oh, how He loves me.
He still loves me through all that. Though the world, like the group, might be chanting, pointing, and laughing at us when our faults surface, God looks at us and says, “Come as you are.” He’ll take us, just as we are. We don’t need to fix ourselves. We don’t need to put on this act and pretty ourselves up to be with Him. God knows we are going to be messy. God knows we are going to sin and we are going to mess up. He knows. Yet He looks at us, sees our sin, sees our dirty, fallen, broken lives and says, “I want you in my family.” I’ll do anything to get you here.
He loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us, knowing we would sin again, so that we can have a personal, intimate relationship with Him. That’s how far He was willing to go.
Thats love right there.
