(A call for men part
3)
Last
night before I went to bed I checked my face book as so many of us do, and
before closing my laptop I saw a man’s status that read ” We have so many
beautiful, wonderful, anointed, courageous, tender, warrior-spirited spiritual
daughters and so very few pursuers, what the hell, I mean really, what the
hell?” Now before we dive in any further I have to explain a few things the
first being this was written by a man I greatly respect. I believe his intent
in posting this for all of the face book world to see was to create reactions,
processing, thinking because when it comes down to it the issue he’s addressing
is a real issue in more ways than one.
Secondly some men and women are in no season to pursue or be pursued,
and this face book status proposes so many complex things so for sake of
argument can we use the scenario of a spiritually healthy man and women who are
ready for such a season. Otherwise what ends up happening is we jump much too
quickly to defend a certain stance or maybe where we find ourselves in this
scenario.
This blog is going to be straight forward, from one man of God’s point
of view, no filter, no editing just raw thoughts and realizations. Again I
preface this with I’m not a perfect man, I’m a sinner saved by grace but I’m
also a son of God and God’s beloved. I’m not the embodiment of the perfect man,
but you know what I learn from my mistakes and the reason I’m writing you is so
you don’t make the same ones. With that said let’s dive in shall we.
This status hit me off guard like most men who read it, initially we get
pissed, frustrated, we start formulating excuses to fit the reality of the
situation. I’ll be the first to admit the Christian woman today has it hard,
there’s plenty of men but not the ones who are taking a real stand, fighting to
bring kingdom, with passion and authority. We as men, not all men so don’t get
so defensive but as a whole we’ve lost our ability to know what it even means
to pursue a daughter of God. I have a few reasons why this happens and some
solutions for both the men and women.
As men
we fear failure, but if you never even try then you never take a risk, which by
definition is a failure. What are we so afraid of guys? She’ll say no? Really?
With all that’s going on in the world, you’re worried a girl will reject you
and your world, as you know it will be over, because you’re so fragile? I’m not
so convinced.
society has taught you to cater to the guys needs in this, many women today
will just tell the guy how they feel about him first, and thus stripping the
mans ability to pursue and “hunt” as you may have heard it called. I know it sounds primal but I assure you there is spiritual value there, and no you’re not a wolf so back it down.
does nothing for a man and this is what I’ve termed “the lay down” where you
just show all your cards and it basically says to the guy “Here’s what I got,
here is what I want from you etc” and guys today they’ve become conditioned to
this so the need of true pursuit has diminished significantly because in the
eyes of some men, there’s no need for it.
honest I used to love when girls did this because it made my job a lot easier,
I would even try to find ways to feel the situation out first to make sure when
I did ask a girl out it was a sure thing. Yet, this is not what God calls us
to, as a man of God I want to be “at risk”, I need to be in the position of
when I ask a daughter of God out, I won’t know if she will say yes or no. A
leap of faith is in order.
The way this looks practically ladies is for you to bury
your heart so deep in Christ that a man has to seek God even harder to find it.
He needs to be on his knees praying for you before he even asks you out, and
for damn sure he needs to be approaching the thrown room of God asking for
permission to even ask His beloved daughter out. When this happens God will
tell you too girls so don’t worry but make God your hearts pursuit first not a
man & marriage. Stop worrying about when you will don the ring, white dress
and rock the soccer mom mini van. Let God sort out those details for you, in
the mean time follow hard after your calling and passion in life.
For the men, we
need some serious restructuring of how we pursue God’s daughters. I’m not sure
some of us would even recognize a beautiful, wonderful, anointed, courageous,
tender, warrior-spirited daughter of God if she hit us in the face with a
brick. Barring the ignorance, we need to come back to the idea of pursuit in a
Holy way because these are His daughters who He loves greatly.
As women you
guys must protect your hearts and be patient enough to let the guy pursue you
in this Holy way, without laying all your cards on the table, be patient enough
for the guy to let you know how he feels first.
As both
men and women both, we have to come to the realization that sometimes we buy
way too much into the Hollywood bullshit version of what love and pursuit is so
let’s agree to toss that out the window now. There is no perfect man or perfect
woman for you, I’m starting to believe God gives us the option and will bless
that choice based on how the relationship honors Him.
Men when
you’ve approached God about a girl, and you feel He’s released you to pursue
the girl, take a risk, take a leap of faith, tell her how you feel and let the
cards fall where they may. Stop playing games with girls, when you’re ready
show your cards do it and be a gentlemen even if the answer is no thank you. There
is a lot to be said for dating and getting to know one another, but I’m not for
dating forever in order to test the waters. Stop being so intimidated by a
strong spiritual warrior-spirit filled girl, this is what you most likely need,
but too afraid to pursue.
Women
of God, if you want the kind of man who’s on fire for God, who’s passionate
about his calling, crazy about you and all the great stuff you dream about I’m convinced your
heart must be in the right place to allow the guy to lead in the relationship. This doesn’t mean dominate the
relationship and we don’t have time to hash it all out now but, simply let him
lead.
The
pursuers are out there girls, and it’s my passion to seek hard after men, train
them, and call them into greatness so hopefully the statistics will get better
for you and soon. It’s my heart’s cry that in ALL area’s we as men would begin
to just pursue more and more the character of Jesus Christ, that is our target
men, to be like Jesus. Take it a day at a time but let Him penetrate every area
of your life, it’s time we come back to treating women properly and showing the
world what makes a real Christian man so different.
