Journey. Part 4.

The Facts:

Right now in my support account, I have $11,212. If by the end of March I’m not fully funded ($14,500), then I will be going home and this journey after only six months will end. If this happens I won’t be going to Cambodia, Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, or India. If the money doesn’t come in, the World Race for me will end and I’ll get on a plane and fly back to Georgia. To be honest, all of this terrifies me. I believe that I have been called to a journey that is to 11 countries over 11 months, not 6. I want so badly to trust and have faith that the money is going to come in, but everything I’ve learned from american culture and from just being human says otherwise.

Here’s a look inside my head and what i’m thinking at the moment. When March 31st comes around, and my squad and the family that I have grown to love and have spent everyday with over the past 6 months will get on a plane and fly to Cambodia, while I stand in the airport and wave goodbye to everyone. Then I’ll hop on a plane back to Georgia. Trust me I do not want to believe this way. 

I’m at war! and I don’t know what to do. 

A war between my flesh and my soul. I want so badly to choose to have faith and believe that God is going to show up and blow me away through this support. I mean I believe and have seen God show up so many times and provide for me during this race, why can’t I believe that He will provide my support? Instead I have let myself sit in fear, wondering whether or not I’m going to get to finish this Race. 

These are the facts:

• If I’m not fully by March 31, then I’m going back to the USA.
• I am lacking $3,087 to be fully funded. $14,500