What do you mean you can’t see me? I’m right here, in KL, Malaysia.
Oh that’s right, I’m probably too small. From where you’re looking I probably look like such a small speck and would probably appear to be insignificant. In fact I probably wouldn’t be visible at all.
Why am I saying all this? Well it all started the other night. My team and I were eating some “lasagna” together (also known as having some feedback… lasagna is fun little nickname the women on my team have come up with). Anyways, everything was going fine and dandy until I was completely caught of guard. Something was said that truly hurt my heart. Someone was trying to express exactly how they were feeling and it somehow ended up stomping all over my feelings. In no way at all was this meant to hurt anyone, but sometimes it can be hard to present things in a loving way when you’re upset. When it comes to matters of the heart and speaking with the words of the Lord we are prime subjects for attacks from Satan. The words that were uttered were coming out of the mouth of a believer but the enemy was spitting lies, causing the speaker to express things that were not coming from the Lord.
After the unfortunate words were uttered, my mind started to wander (something it likes to do). Things started twisting and turning, going from bad to worse. Satan has no authority over my heart… so he began to tweak the thoughts in my brain. He created so many fabrications about the things that were spoken. As this internal war was raging inside of me, I started to grow angry. Lasagna progressed onto new subjects when I heard something inside of me say “tell this person how you feel”. Unfortunately, I said “no”. I allowed the anger that Satan was triggering to get the best of me. (I know now that was a bad decision, but as I have stated in my previous blogs “I am not perfect”)
As Lasagna progressed, I was harboring all this anger towards someone who unknowingly brought me pain. It was time for us to close in prayer, and this person needed to be built up and encouraged. So someone on my team suggested that we prophesy over this person. We did. As everyone went around saying truths to this person and encouraging them, I didn’t say anything.
I sat there and let Satan speak lies into me and fill my thoughts with rage. I started to feel my body physically grow. It felt as if I was getting bigger and bigger. Instead of allowing the Lord grow within me, I was expanding on my own terms. I was allowing myself to lose the war against evil in my own flesh. And then something happened.
Chelsea grabbed my hand and held it.
As she sat there and held my hand I felt myself starting to shrink. It felt as if my body was getting smaller and smaller. It was. After all the prophesying was said and done we sealed our time in prayer. Almost immediately after the prayer Chelsea looked at me and said “I wanna talk to you”. So we went and found a quite place to converse. The first thing she said to me when we sat down was “why didn’t you pray for this person?”.
Pause: So Back in july at training camp, I was told us that I should never write a blog more than 500 words because people would lose their interest. So…
The End.
Haha
To continue following me on this journey read blog Journey. Part 3B.
