It's go time. I am no longer waiting, no longer in limbo. I've left behind everything for this moment: Family, friends, my job, my comfortable lifestyle, and in a few short days, my country. I am typing this in a hotel room in Washington, D.C. with only my laptop and two backpacks of stuff to call my own for the next year.
My heart is ready. The nervousness and apprehension that creeps in as I realize the gravity of what I am about to do is quickly overwhelmed by the quiet confidence of knowing that I am exactly where my heavenly Father wants me to be. The weight of the responsibility that I have been given to lead a team of six people into ministry where I’ve never gone before is lifted by the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit burning in my heart.
This thing is not about glamour and adventure.
It’s not about keeping things neat and clean and orderly and appropriate.
It’s about the mess. About the chaos. About the struggle, the warfare.
We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. -1 John 3:16
It’s about dying. It’s about intentionally stepping into the messy, the nasty, the dark, the hate, and fighting to show people where they’re at what real love looks like.
I know the next year is going to be the hardest in my life. I will be stretched to failure and pushed past breaking. If I was doing this in my own wisdom and ability I would be an absolute idiot, a glutton for punishment.
But I’m not doing this because I can; I’m doing this because I can’t. I have the Spirit of the Living God inside of me and I’m sick of living life like I’m ordinary. So I’ve set myself up for failure knowing that as I step back, my God will step in and my impact and influence will break from the natural into the supernatural.
I choose to die to myself today so that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead can live and move and breathe in me and through me.
It's a good day to die.
It’s go time.
