I am just like you. I perceive the situations and circumstances of others and I compare mine to theirs. It happens so seamlessly in everyday life. Everything from family, relationships and finances to attitudes, work ethic and ability fall under the umbrella of comparison. In those moments I become a judge of sorts, weighing the evidence and then determining if I have come out in a better position than the other individual or entity. Sometimes I feel as though I have, (dangerous in and of itself) but most often I am able to find something in my examination that casts a shadow on my demeanor. This person here seems to have so much more life and vibrance in their relationship with God, while this person over here appears to have a much better handle on empathy for others. These are two examples that I deal with but the list is expansive when it comes to things I see in others that I wish was also a component of my life.
Before I continue, let me interject; as the Body of Christ we should be challenged and encouraged by the strengths and abilities of our fellow believers, but more on that later. What I am referring to is when I allow this comparison to negatively affect how I view myself, God and those around me.
I view myself as though something may possibly be out of balance, I begin to second guess and question my abilities, callings and passions. This ultimately leads to a sense of joylessness. In turn, I begin to feel empty and unproductive as I continue to weigh myself against my fellow human rather than loving and serving them.
I view God as though He owes me something (the epitome of ridiculousness). I question why He has allotted a particular skill or strength to one and not another. When this action is stripped of all the justification I attempt to shroud it in I am left with the reality that what I am truly doing is questioning my Savior’s goodness and omniscience.
Finally, I view others as a means to an end. They become a standard that I want to live up to rather than an individual that I can have relationship with. I can become so focussed on attempting to emulate the parts of their life that I believe are lacking in mine I end up causing more damage than good.
Rather than continuing to sacrifice on the altar of comparison I am learning to remember who I am in Christ. What I mean, is that I must remind myself that God wanted the person I am right now. Not some distant version of myself. Not the person that I think I should be or even necessarily want to be. He wants me, here and now standing in obedience before him. He wants my willingness to trust his hand and his timing, to trust that he will provide for the deficiencies that I do in fact have and that he will use the strengths I may have discounted. Because of his wonderful grace my understanding and experience of God is completely unique. The lenses that I view life through are mine alone and because he is the Creator, he can use my perspectives, abilities and experience for his glory and to impact those around me. It is my hope that this truth will bring rest to a weary heart and mind that has been spending so much time trying to measure up that they have missed so many opportunities to revel in the joy of being fully known and accepted by our Heavenly Father.
“…so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others, We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. Romans 12:5-6a
Until next time…
MB
