As I write this blog my tastebuds are still lingering on the goat cheese nachos and Brazilian limónada that I just enjoyed with my brother and sister in-law. I only mention this because very soon this activity and so many others like it will be but a distant memory and with that in mind I am doing my best to soak up every moment I have with friends and family. Soon I will set foot on a plane to begin my journey and “home” will be left far behind.
Mixed in with these thoughts of leaving home has been another thought that has taken root in my mind as of late. I was watching a documentary on the internet about an individual giving their testimony and at one point they mentioned that they felt as though they were “letting God down”….Now, that statement was by no means new to me, in fact I have had the very same though at various points in my life. I could resonate with the feelings of guilt and shame and the vague concept that God was somehow counting on me to come through for Him. As I was subconsciously processing this I began to consider what the implications would be if indeed God was counting on me.
Theologically speaking, if any part of God were dependent on me, or for that matter dependent on anything outside of himself, that would be the moment that He would cease to be Lord. The sole basis for the omnipotence of Christ is based on the fact that He never has nor ever will depend on anyone or anything other than himself. The Trinity embodies the ultimate epitome of self sufficiency. Indeed, it is this same sufficiency that spills over and causes John to declare that “All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. (John 1:3)” So, this is the first implication of thinking that we let God down; we strip the Almighty of His power and reduce Him to something that cannot save.
Secondly, this type of thinking reveals a major heart issue in my own life. There is no faster way to showcase the Pride that is present in my heart than to take a look at how I compare myself to God. Of course I would never give intellectual ascent to the idea that God and I are even close to being on the same plane, however, I need only to test the attitudes of my heart to know I am more than guilty of nurturing that thought in my spirit. There is this part of me that is so desperate to play some role in my own salvation. Surely there is some amount of self generated goodness I can offer to atone for even a small portion of my depravity? There must be a portion of myself that God is counting on me to redeem? These questions begin to pull back the covers on the absurdity of thinking that we can be like God and save ourselves. It was this kind of thinking that destroyed Adam and Eve and it is this same thinking that continues to perpetually destroy me as well.
Arrogance, Pride and attempted usurpation of Christ’s glory. That is what I face if I am determined to believe that I can and have let God down. Now please do not misunderstand, there is a massive difference between this mindset and living with the understanding that I can and do grieve the heart of God. The difference is that even as He is grieved, God still remains God and I am not attempting to perform on any level for His goodness or kindness towards me. This is where the Awesome power of the Gospel comes into play. The infinite reality is that in my own heart I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that any attempt to create or barter my own salvation is utterly pointless. As I stand before the perfection of Christ I am stripped of all the pride that insists I am able to redeem even a small portion of my sinful nature and this is where I can finally step into freedom. This is where God finally breaks the proverbial silence and declares that all that is required for my salvation and redemption has already been accomplished by His Son. This means that I can now work from a position of salvation rather than for a position of salvation. I can live with total assurance that since Christ has raised me up with Himself I can never be in the position of letting God down.
Until next time,
MB
