It could be said that Life can be summed up as a collection of moments through the passage of time. Just like everyone else I have had my moments, I am currently doing my best to live in the midst of my present moments and I am optimistically looking forward to coming moments. I am thankful for the wisdom to realize that I would not be where I am now were it not for where I have been, and where I am now would not hold much value if it where not for where I am hoping to go.
This perspective is the lense that I am looking through as my journey towards World Race continues. For those that are unaware of what Workd Race (referred to as “WR”) is I will do my best to briefly explain. WR is an organization through Adventures in Missions that provides individuals with the opportunity to participate in an extended missions trip. Their main platform for accomplishing this is ministering in eleven different countries over the course of eleven different months, hence the ever popular catchphrase “11n11.” I will be part of a 5-7 member team that will come along side pre-existing ministries within the different countries that are on our “route.”. These ministry opportunities can range in everything from orphan care, construction projects and evangelism to education, street ministry and ministering to those involved in human trafficking. Also, as a side note, contrary to the name we will not actually be racing in any form or fashion.
As mentioned above, I cannot help but think about the moments that brought me to where I am. Some of these moments are rather dark and dismal, like when I was diagnosed with depression in the spring of my sophomore year at JBU. Or when a long term relationship that I had so many plans for began to dissolve and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. Other moments are filled with all the unknowns that accompany decisions like choosing to not continue on with college and instead move to a different state and begin a new job. There were moments when I felt distant and removed from God’s Will because of apathy and sin in my life and there were moments when I just wanted to give up and live life on my own terms rather than confront the reality of a sovereign God. There were moments of fear and anxiety about moving back home and finding another job all the while trying to answer the ever popular question of “what am I going to do with my life?”
It was in the middle of these unknowns and questions that I began thinking about what I wanted to do next in life. I had felt so distant from God for long enough that I knew I wanted to begin living my life on his terms once again. Not only was I hungry for relationship with my Heavenly Father I was also desperate for connections with a solid Christian community. Finally, I was pretty sure that I had wander lust and would love the chance to do some traveling. These thoughts had been taking shape in my head as I “stumbled” across a blog post written by one of my friends, Alicia Doran. She talked about how she was going on an eleven month mission trip and gave some back-story on how this all come about. My curiosity was immediately piqued and I began looking up WR and Adventures in Missions. Needless to say a seed was planted in my heart in that moment but I knew that God still wanted to work on some heart issues. Rather than dismissing the opportunity entirely based on the idea that I was not spiritually mature or good enough I wrote a short, heartfelt prayer in my journal and set the idea aside.
Fast forward three months or so through the holiday rush of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years and God gently but very definitely began growing and nurturing that seed that had been planted. Because of this I began addressing and surrendering the apathy and sin that had taken root in my life and as always God faithfully continued to carry me through these moments. After much prayer I applied for WR in February and in March I received the news that I had been accepted. That is the abbreviated version of how I was brought to these moments leading up to my departure. I wish I could say that after being accepted and choosing to go on this trip that I have everything with God figured out and that I am perfectly equipped to carry the gospel. This of course is no where close to the truth, in fact I would venture to say that my understanding and realizations of my disqualifications and inferiority are only magnified by agreeing to be sent. Herein lies the beauty of the Gospel of Grace; our only qualification to receive it is an understanding that we are utterly and completely disqualified.
Until next time…
MB
