“Are you ready?” The question everyone asked before I left. I had no idea what it looked like to be ready to leave everything I have ever known, step out in complete faith, and trust in the Lord’s promises. The fact that I am actually leaving still feels unreal. I don’t know how to possibly prepare myself fully for this journey, but I am beyond ready to enter into the blessings and the plans that Jesus has in store.
I wasn’t scared for this journey until I arrived at launch. I became terrified over the course of the weekend. I was scared that I would fail at being a team leader. I was scared that I would let somebody down or be a disappointment. I was scared of my human strengths failing me. I had forgotten to rely on the Lord. I let the devil get in my head and feed me lies.
I didn’t realize the extent of my fear until Monday night at worship. We met with a partner and told them all of our fears. It wasn’t until that moment that I knew I was absolutely terrified. I was talking to Colton, a guy on my squad, and I started pouring out all of the anxiety and my doubt I didn’t even know I had. He prayed over me that that the Father would release the fear from inside me and that I would allow His peace to overtake me. I felt so relieved and joyful in that moment. I could literally feel the presence of God around me, and it was incredible.
Once I gave my fears over to the Lord I knew for sure I was ready. I am ready, because I finally understand that this can only happen with Jesus. I am at complete peace with the Lord, because I know He is holding me through every step. He sends me constant reminders in the simplest ways that He is present and He is in control. Only He has the power to keep us going and motivated. We are here on this earth to bring His kingdom and His glory. It is not about us.
