If you would have told me two months ago I was gonna take a month off of Facebook, I’d have said you were crazy. “How do I update my supporters? How do I talk to my friends back home? How will I know what’s going on in the world? What will I do during my free time? I’m not addicted, there’s just no point in giving it up.” Would all have been things you’d have heard from me. (By the way, when someone tells you they’re not addicted… guess what that usually means.) I certainly wouldn’t have told you I would end up doing it during the best month on the Race. So, what happened this month? And by the way, why don’t you ever blog??
This month I got to work with a ministry called BeamAfrica; an organization that feeds meals to kids in slums and impoverished communities and runs a literacy school for teenagers who have dropped out. We would play with the kids, do skits, songs, and Bible stories, and feed them a good meal three times a week, and I got to give English tutoring to a bunch of teenage boys as part of their literacy program. Additionally, one of the girls I served with became the best friend I’ve made since leaving the country. (She’s so awesome she gets her own blog. Stay tuned.) We stayed with this wonderful South African couple, Louis and Erika, who have been running this ministry for 11 years and touched hundreds of people. Not only are they precious and rich in wisdom, they are also hilarious and have two adult children that work for the ministry. Louise and Francois are about as big of a nerd as I am… across ALL my fandoms. (We’re talkin’ from Tolkien and Sherlock through Marvel and D.C. Not many of you will be able to appreciate how big of a deal this is. It’s huge.) They live on a beautiful campus in Pretoria, South Africa, which is full of restful, green spaces and places to hang my hammock and spend time with God. Oh, and they had a full kitchen; with an oven.
In case you glossed over that paragraph, this month boiled down to kids, teaching, amazingly deep friendships, delightful memories, lots of time with God, and really good food. I’m talkin’ “I baked every other night” kinda good food. (Thank you mom for teaching me how to cook… this month was the bomb.)
Cool, Mer. So why have you not blogged and what does that have to do with Facebook?
So we all know I have some perfectionist tendencies. (Ahem, acceptance is the first step.) Well, I have this same nasty habit when it comes to my spiritual walk (a brief glance at my other posts will affirm this.) I don’t terribly mind being vulnerable when it comes to in-person conversations, especially one-on-one. I crave it then. My journal, too, is another example where I just unzip my heart and let it flow onto paper. However there’s something about leaving something out there for all the world to see – with no possibility of feedback or interaction – that makes me want to have everything figured out first; to be able to wrap it up with a pretty bow.
I’m learning this: God doesn’t like to work that way very often. I guess that means I have to be better about embracing the process and not waiting on everything to be perfect and presentable.
The point of fasting anything is to create space or a hunger; a hunger you then fill with something greater. The space created by being off of Facebook made me dive in more deeply here – by a long shot. I filled that time with living those moments and making those memories, spending more time with God, and fully doing what I came here to do. (Come on, did I really come here to do anything less??) But another big part of it was beginning to get away from the concept that life has to be Facebook-worthy. The messiness is ok. These are things I know for myself, but not in the context of a public forum. Those are things far, far greater than the time I would have wasted scrolling through clicking the “like” button.
So that means you’re about to be seeing a lot more blogs from me! I don’t want this year of adventure with The Father to just be reduced to Instagram pictures for those that helped most to get me here. I want to let you in on what God is doing; even when it’s not pretty. Thanks for supporting me in the silence as well as the abundance. Get ready to be let in a little more… maybe even a lot.
His,
Meredith
