Hey Mer!
How’s it goin? You’re just about to get back to Atlanta from a year of being gone; a year of Jesus, of adventure, of heartache, and joy. Some stuff has been crossing my mind lately I thought I should remind you of. I know I’m not you yet, but I’m about ? of the way into this thing and I’ve got some perspective I don’t want you to forget. Here are my thoughts:
Don’t expect things to feel the same, and don’t be frustrated when they don’t. You’ve been away a long time. If you ever thought you had trouble relating to people before, welcome to the big-kid table. You’ve missed a year of life at home whole having an experience about .05 of the population can relate to. They won’t ask the right questions and probably feel just as awkward because of what they’ve missed out on as you will feel with them. You’re a different person now. So are they. It’s gonna feel weird. Don’t expect it to feel like it did before. You’re not there anymore.
Don’t hold back in telling people about your experiences. I know it may sound pretentious and weird to say things like, “oh my gosh, when I was in India…” and “this one time in South Africa…” all the time, but people wanna know about your crazy stories and may just not know the questions to get there. Believe me, they’ll tell you if they want you to stop. Relive the memories. Keep them fresh. Let other people into them. Betcha they wanna know more than you think.
Don’t stop chasing after the things that got you here in the first place. I know you’ve got that passion in your soul; that wanderlust and ache to make a difference and longing for the children of other countries. Don’t get sucked into the 9-5 “American dream” that’s all around you. You know that’s not for you. That dream isn’t big enough for you anymore. Month-11-me might look back on month-7-me and laugh at the plans I have for when I get back (is teaching English in Spain a thing yet??) but don’t step away from the calling of your heart for the noise that’s echoing around you. Tune that out. Eyes up. You’re after something bigger.
Feel the feelings. You struggled with this when you left Pennsylvania. Home is a relative concept now. You’ve left your heart in 11 different places and now you’re coming back to a place that isn’t gonna feel the way you remember. You’re gonna long for places you’ve fallen in love with. Just don’t forget you’ve had moments of longing for home while you’ve been gone. It’s like Mason told you: “there’s always gonna be things to miss, you’re just about to go back to the things you’ve been missing for a while and you won’t have to miss them anymore.” Sit in the feelings. It’s the only way to get through them to find belonging.
Finding the Father in incredible ways doesn’t stop when you land. If anything this was just a training ground for how to find Him in the ordinary as well as the extraordinary. Don’t slip back into the daily routine you knew before and forget how to do this. If you can find Him in a kid in the bush while fasting scripture you can find Him anywhere. Now you get to take the knowledge of how to do that to others.
He’s gonna keep guiding. He’s gonna keep speaking. This has been a great year, but it won’t be the best year of your life; make sure it isn’t. Month 12 USA, here we go.
His,
Mer
