an update on life

Hey y'all. It's been a minute since I've written, and I apologize.

I realized that anyone reading my blog has no idea what I've been doing, what I'm doing now, and what I will be doing later. I decided to write a blog explaining all of the above.

Spain
From June 1 to August 21 I was in Mijas, Spain interning with Mattoo – Men Against The Trafficking Of Others (www.mattoo.org). I completed the internship, worked with awesome people, and have since graduated from Auburn University, the fourth member of my immediate family to do so. Despite our recent abysmal performances on the football field, it is always great to be an Auburn Tiger. War Eagle.

A couple of weeks into the internship I realized that it was merely the means to a divine end that God had up his sleeve. I arrived in Spain with a lot more baggage than the suitcase I was rolling, but I had already decided who would know what and how much about me, and it was not many people. God, in all His goodness, had other plans.

This summer revolutionized my life. I tend to be dramatic and hyperbolic by nature, but this is not an overstatement or an embellishment of the story. I experienced the incredible height, depth, length, and breadth of God's love this summer in a way I had not known existed before. As my story began to unfold before the friends I was making, I anticipated their rejection. What I received was the love of Christ. They let me talk, cry, complain, have temper tantrums, and word vomit on them all summer, and the only response I ever received was love. Instead of, "Maybe you should go see a licensed professional," they said, "Let's get together and pray about this." Still and yet the most remarkable thing was that I showed these people all of my ugliest cards, and not only did they love me, they liked me. They still wanted to hang out, they still laughed at my jokes, and they still wanted to be around me. 

It's necessary and refreshing to know that you are loved. It's life-changing to know that you are loved and liked. 

I never knew what it meant to "be known" before this summer. I was afraid of true vulnerability, always feeling as though I had to modify who I was based on who I was with, afraid that the real me would be rejected. My people in Spain know me, my good and my bad and my really ugly, and they love me.

Through their example, I came to realize that God was showing me that I have always been known. He has "searched me and known me" from before the foundation of the earth (ps 139). He knew I would fail, and He knows I will fail. He loves me anyway. He likes me anyway. He wants to spend time with me, He wants me to cry on His shoulder, and He wants to hear my thoughts, complaints, successes, and failures. This summer I came to know the truly unconditional love that God has for His people. His faithful, covenant love that will "never leave or forsake" us (heb 13:5). 

The moral of the summer is that I never knew God was such a fast runner.
He chased, pursued, and jumped a bunch of hurdles to find me just to tell me that He loves me.
And knowing that changed my life.

Now
Currently I am living at home until I leave for the Race in January. I am leading worship at a new service in my church, a privilege and honor (if you live in Oneonta, it's at 9:02 every Sunday at LMUMC). 

I've discovered that this is going to be a completely different season for me. Coming off a "community high," including four years of college and my experience in Spain, I'm now in the bowels of Alabama where it's more likely that I'll see a deer in my yard than someone my age. (Okay, that was dramatic and hyperbolic.) As I've settled in, I've been asking God what this season needs to be about. I am not around any of my trusted confidants, I've got few friends my age to hang out with, and my wildest Friday nights consist of watching The Three Stooges with my parents and going to bed at 9:30 because of sheer boredom (disclaimer : my parents are quite fun, they just enjoy early bedtimes). I'm pretty much on my own. 

Then, at the same time, I'm not alone at all. This season is about me and God. It's about me continuing to get to know Him, continuing to listen for His voice, and continuing to seek Him above all others. This summer He equipped me with all the tools necessary to keep growing with Him, and now it's up to me to use them. As cheesy as it sounds, I want God to become my best friend. I want to know Him more intimately, to know the meaning of utter dependence, to know that if everything were taken away from me that I could remain unaffected and secure in His sufficience (2 cor 12). I want to know "the immeasurable greatness of His power" and receive a "spirit of wisdom and revelation as I come to know Him" (eph 1). Mostly, I do not want to stop growing, always trusting that the good work He began will be carried on to completion in me (phil 1) and that my "inner nature is being renewed each day" (2 cor 4). As I test out my sea legs in the ocean of solitude, your prayers are appreciated (also a little dramatic and hyperbolic, but I laughed).

Later
As I mentioned I'll be leaving in January for the World Race, which is pretty much the sole reason I have this blog. The Race is something I heard about my freshman year of college and that I could never really get away from hearing about all four years. I expect it will be awesome. If you'd like to know more about it or how you can help me prayerfully and/or financially, check out the links at the left or email me at [email protected]. I'd love to chat with you about it!

To those who have already chosen to support me, there are not words strong enough to convey my thanks and appreciation for your generosity. You have blessed me!

That's pretty much it for now. You can subscribe at the left to get updates on future blog posts. Until then, grace and peace.
m