It hit me somewhere between the time I landed in the Windy City, and standing out on the Sears Tower that overlooked it, that I was completely on my own. A place I had never been…. I grew up, went to college, learned to do my own laundry (Mom, I DID), bought my own groceries from time to time, but up to this point, I have never been completely and utterly disconnected from my life. My real life. The one that involves several bubble baths a day. The one where I eat out at an air conditioned, sit down restaurant for at least one, most likely two meals a day. (We aren’t really a household of “cookers”) The one where I get into my nice car and drive wherever I please simply because I feel like it. This life is gone. This life is over. At least, for the next year. The worst part is that I have no idea what comes next.
One evening in the city, I decided to just walk around our hotel and see what the place had to offer. Eventually, I ended up somewhere in the lower level near a bunch of conference rooms. And hallways. Elaborate, blue and gold trimmed long winding, never ending hallways. And wouldn’t you know amidst all the prettiness, I realized I was lost.
And that’s kind of how I feel about all this. I’m walking down this hallway that has a lot of beautiful qualities, and hey lets face it, some pretty awesome destinations, but I have no idea where I am actually going. I can’t even see the end of this hallway. In fact, some places are blacked out and scary. But I can’t really turn back now. It’s a little late for that. I mean, I even bought a sweater that says, “Never Look Back” so it’s pretty finalized.
We launch in three days. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I do know that it is not in my hands anymore. All I gotta do is keep walking and try not to look back.
PSALM 62:5: "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him."
