My heart is breaking today.
Around where I work, a man, a human being like YOU and ME, shot five people, four of them fatally, and then later today committed suicide.
This happened about a half hour away from where I work. After he shot those four people, he headed towards the city where I work. Schools were on lock down, every one in town got real nervous and kept talking about it, working up their fears even more.
In the news, you’ll hear them say, “Gunman Jody Lee Hunt,” or “Murderer Jody Lee Hunt” and, yes, I mean…he is a murderer. He killed four people and himself. But, as soon as we see that word….”murderer”….we depersonalize him, because I mean, how could we ever be that horrible, right?
Wrong.
Okay. Hear…or, in this case…read me out.
If Jesus is not the anchor of your soul, if you don’t ask Him to fill your mind with HIS thoughts (1 Cor 2:16)..then, yeah. You and I could be just like him.
That’s a very sobering thought. And, you may be asking, “Meraia, what do you mean that we could be murderers or some type of evil person like that? You and me, we’re good people!”
The problem is, friend, if we don’t ask Jesus for forgiveness and walk in His redeeming love and have a true relationship with Him, we’re all eating from the same tree and walking around with the same disease.
We don’t even like to think that we could possibly be as foolish as Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of good and evil that God, in person, told them that was a big no no. We would be SO much smarter and would be GOOD. (Haha…ha…hahahaha…yeah right.)
You and I have an appetite for the forbidden. If we entertain what the tempter is tempting us with, we will give in. And it starts with a thought. You and I, friends, are exactly like Adam and Eve if we aren’t walking in who Christ called us to be. And if we eat too much of that fruit, our disease gets deadlier than Ebola or Cancer.
We become numb to what’s good and evil, and we become it. We become dissociative, and we depersonalize everything. We give in to the dark side and let the devil wear our body. And for everyone, that looks different.
Sometimes, it causes you to murder…sometimes it causes you to become an abuser…sometimes it causes you to take advantage of a child’s innocence….sometimes it causes you to be a gossip…sometimes it causes you to be vindictive…and the scariest of them all…prideful.
“What?! How could being prideful be worse than MURDER or taking advantage of CHILDREN? That is PREPOSTEROUS!”
I hear your thoughts loud and clear. (Haha)
Just read these though:
Psalms 10: 4-6 “The wicked snub God, their noses stuck high in the air. Their graffiti are scrawled on the walls: ‘Catch us if you can!’ ‘God is dead!’ They care nothing for what you think: if you get in their way, they blow you off. They live (they think) a charmed life: ‘We can’t go wrong. This is our lucky year.!'”
2 Chronicles 26:16 “But then strength and success went to his head. Arrogant and proud, he fell…”
Proverbs 16:19 “First pride, then the crash-the bigger the ego, the harder the fall!”
I promise you, most murderers, child molesters, thieves, drug addicts and so on and so forth, never thought they would be that bad. They prided their selves in being good citizens. They were proud for being so good, and knew they could never be like “evil” people. That their strength was enough. Wrong-o! That’s where Satan gets you to sink your teeth into that forbidden fruit! Right there! That you aren’t capable of doing evil! (I know this because I believed the same lie for the most of my life.)
I had the angel complex. Yet, I gossiped a lot. I lied A LOT. I watched things that I should not have watched. I was manipulative. I hated myself. I had horrible, horrible thoughts. But, you know, I was still an innocent angel that’s never had a boyfriend, had sex, done drugs and all that other good person crap. I was better than “those sinners” and thanked God that I was “different.” Oh, if I had known that this scripture was talking about me and “that sinner”:
Luke 18:9-14 “He told his next story to some who were complacently pleased with themselves over their moral performance and looked down their noses at the common people: ‘Two men went up to the Temple to pray, one a Pharisee, the other a tax man. The Pharisee posed and prayed like this: ‘Oh God, I thank you that I am not like other people-robbers, crooks, adulterers, or heaven forbid, like this tax man. I fast twice a week and tithe on all my income.’ ‘Meanwhile the tax man, slumped in the shadows, his face in his hands, not daring to look up, said, ‘God, give mercy. Forgive me, a sinner.’ Jesus commented, “This tax man, not the other, went home made right with God. If you walk around with your nose in the air, you’re going to end up flat on your face, but if you’re content to simply be yourself, you will become more than yourself.'”
Ouch. Reality check.
It wasn’t until Jesus stripped me of the good girl complex I held so tightly to that I was able to see my horrible sinful condition. It was so overwhelming, I almost decided it would be better to end my life. The pain of knowing how evil I actually could be, how evil my thoughts actually were, was unbearable. I felt so far away from Jesus. And just like the tax collector, I buried my face into my hands, begging God to have mercy on me and forgive me.
With out Jesus saving me, I am more than capable of being like Jody Lee Hunt. That may not be very popular to say, but I know that if Jesus had not shaken me awake from my slumber and pride, my mind would have gone totally reprobate and I could have been capable of doing very evil things.
My heart breaks for the families that lost their loved ones and the victims, but my heart is also tore up over Jody. He was someone Jesus died for, just like you and me. Instead of repenting like Peter, he let his guilt kill him like Judas.
Did Jody ever know Jesus?
Did anyone ever tell him that Jesus could heal his pain and that he didn’t have to hurt others or himself?
Was Jody ever shown hope?
I don’t know. I just wish instead of ending his life, he would have just turned himself in or the cops found him before he did. In jail, he would have had time to find Jesus. He could have still had hope.
My heart hurts for everyone involved in this mess. His kids…his friends…his family…the victims and their family…there’s a whole bunch of hurting people that are asking, “why?”
My challenge to you is this: Don’t depersonalize Jody as an evil crazy killing machine. Realize that he was a person, who was crushed, and gave in to that evil side, and remember, it’s ONLY the grace of God keeping you from losing your sanity.
I don’t want to be good.
I don’t want to be evil.
I want to be love, like Jesus was.
Thanks for reading this very long blog!
Love you guys!
-Meraia
