Hello!
This past month has been amazing. If I can compare it to anything in the Bible, I’d have to say it was something like the wilderness experience. During the application process for the World Race, and after I got accepted, I was going through a mental war that was absolutely exhausting.
I have never in my life gone through something that crazy.
It was like, I was taken back to all of my past failures, some things were way over-exaggerated and what I was going through made me feel like I honestly was not qualified and worthy to go on the Race. I mean, I’m not just saying that to fit in that cliché slogan, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called” or “Jesus is what makes you worthy.” I am saying that because that is honestly how I was starting to feel.
My pastor said that when God calls you to do something, the process sorta goes like this: He blesses you, you’re broken and tested, and then your sent out. Well, haha…that is definitely the truth.
Right before I found out about the Race, everything was fabulous. The worst thing I was stressing about was a deadline for work, making sure I got to the gym or something to do with Elevate. But then, I felt God calling me to the Race. Then….everything became super chaotic. I mean, it was a WAR! I can honestly say, I can’t do this with out Jesus being my strength. I can’t do it if it’s just me. It HAS to be HIM! When I am raising funds, when I am going to training camp, when I am on the race….it has to be HIM shining through me…being my strength…showing me how to love….because I don’t have it in me. I’m wired just like Adam and Eve was. I’m selfish, manipulative, a liar, a gossiper…just plain out evil. If I am not looking to Jesus on how to walk and love others like Him….there’s no point in doing any of this.
So…I just have to say….if God is calling you to do something, and you decide to listen, get ready for mental warfare. Don’t give up, don’t give in, don’t grow paralyzed, don’t listen to the enemy’s lies…focus on Jesus. Less of you, more of Him.
Love you guys!
