Training camp was… hard, trying, amazing, and beautiful all in one. It didn’t just break down some of my walls but destroyed them bringing them to little crumbles changing them from something guarding me to coals starting a fire in me that burns brighter than anything I could ever imagine. It broke me and built me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
To start with, I’m almost positive that the devil’s favorite way of trying to hold me back is somehow messing up every mode of transportation I try to take. First it was getting mixed up and going to the wrong airport while trying to get to Georgia (yeah… I did that), then it was the car of a great friend that was going to take me to Alabama for church camp that wouldn’t start, then there was also the fact that it was a Sunday so there was only one auto shop open and they weren’t what you would consider the most timely of people so we did not make it back to Alabama when we had planned to. And then even once I made it to church camp my transportation troubles continued… once I stepped on the bus so we could go to missions site it shut off (Kenneth im not saying its my fault but… it probably was). Luckily the lord was also pushing for me in all this when I got back to the correct airport the ticket guy (bless him) was able to get me through the pre check so I wouldn’t miss my flight (I mean really do I look like a threat?) and when the car wouldn’t start we were lucky enough to have amazing friends to pick us up, let us crash at their place (and have amazing food) and I was able to find a ride to Alabama for church camp (also didn’t know the people I was with so building new relationships was great). and yes our church bus is now running (bless it)
WORSHIP, worship was simply amazing! For me it was one of the most impactful parts of the whole ten days. It was one of those things where just experiencing it seemed like a privilege where you just stand there in the presents of the lord and smile the whole time, I even remember giggling like a small child a few times just because it seemed so magical! During worship I prayed and sang at the top of my lungs (sorry to those around me). Our worship leader was great and it was pretty cool that I got to meet the person responsible for inspiring me to finish my world race application (thanks Evan)
Hike…The hike(s)… I DON’T HIKE… Ever. At all. It’s out of the question. And this week I did it twice, with a thirty+ pound pack on my back and the watch counting down the minutes I had left, on my wrist because yes, it was timed. This is one thing that broke me, but also taught me. You see for the last 8ish months I haven’t been able to show much emotion, I don’t know why it’s just something I couldn’t do. But after the first hike I broke down, the tears fell and the hugs happened, I wasn’t crying because we didn’t finish in time, or because I was just really hungry after all that (okay, that actually could have contributed) but I cried because of the overwhelming sense of pride after seeing the way my team worked together and encouraged each other even when it reached the point of knowing we were not all going to make it in time. Teammates were literally pulling each other across the finish line and had nothing but encouragement for each other.
Testimonies. They are awkward, uncomfortable, never fun, and almost always emotional (I didn’t cry btw) but after all that it’s like magically just talking, saying words, something you can’t even lift or even touch somehow manage to lift a burdensome weight off your shoulders. (I have so much more to say about this but I’ll save it for another blog so just keep an eye out)
Hunger, ya girls gotta eat…a lot!!! Most of the ten days at training camp the words “I’m hungry” came out of my mouth at least 10 times. Yes we were fed three meals a day and a apple or granola bar at some point during the day but I still found myself thinking of food way more than I should have. Similar to other comforts like sleeping in my own bed, and taking a normal shower I had to let go of these things that we feel like we need but actually just want, and this was a hard but humbling (probably not going to cut back on food intake because of it, but will definitely appreciate every bite I take).
Going into training camp I had so many questions, “am I capable of this?”, “how will things go with my 40 person team of people I’ve never met?”, “would old baggage hold me back?”, and so many more questions; and now after training camp I still don’t have all the answers but I am positive that I can do this and for the rest, well… i’m a big believer in winging it.
P.S. I ate a cricket… and will admit it wasn’t bad.
