I can’t believe it’s the end. In just a few hours I’ll be landing in Chicago. In a lot of ways this year has flown by, and in a lot of ways it has felt like a lifetime. Where do I even start trying to process everything I have experienced this year and all the ways I have grown and changed? (I have no idea, hopefully retrospect will help me unpack this year as time goes by.) But I wanted to write a kind of wrap-up blog. There’s no way I can put everything I have learned and experienced this year into one blog, but I just wanted to type some of the questions, thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head as I make my way home.
How will I handle this transition?
I’ve always handled transitions pretty well in my life. I’d say I’m a person who adapts fairly easily. Transitions are like changing seasons. I love living in Ohio where we get a great taste of each season of the year. Winter is different than summer, and spring is different than fall, but all seasons are good. Each season has its difficulties, but each season also has a beauty of its own. Summer days provide long hours of sunlight to enjoy outdoor activities, fall leaves bring stunning colors to the trees, winter snows leave the ground covered in a delicate blanket of fresh white, and spring showers cause beautiful flowers to spring up from the earth.
The ending of the Race means the ending a really good season. It’s the end of a season of experiencing many different cultures and seeing God’s glory all throughout the earth. It’s the end of a season of living in a community of people who love me and challenge me literally 24/7. It’s the end of a season of having opportunities to serve the Lord scheduled for me every day. It’s the end of a season where I wake up most days having no idea what to expect from the day. It’s the end of a season of meeting remarkable brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world and serving alongside them in their ministries.
But as I end this good season, I am stepping into another good season. I’m coming home to a season of newness. I’m coming home to a season of doing life with friends, family, and a boyfriend who love me incredibly. I’m coming home to a season of furthering the Kingdom of God within the context of my own culture. I’m coming home to a season of applying what I’ve learned, and bringing others along with me in it. I’m coming home to a great job, a great place to live with best friends, and a great church family. There are so many things to celebrate in this upcoming season.
One of the lessons I learned on the Race is the importance of being present. And I think this is the key to transitioning well. There is a saying, “Be wherever your feet are.” That sounds simple, but it can be incredibly difficult. It’s so easy to pass through life, reflecting on the past or thinking about the future, and if we’re not careful, we’ll miss the beauty of the present. The every-day, mundane, and under-appreciated present moment.
So I’ve made it my goal to be where my feet are.
To be fully present, fully engaged, and fully alive wherever I am–on the Race and at home.
How have I changed this year?
It’s impossible to have an experience like this and not be changed. But it’s usually hard to see change in yourself, because it happens little by little every day. I hope I’ll be able to see ways I’ve grown when I get home and compare the way I live now to things I used to do before the Race. A couple weeks ago I asked God to show me some of the ways I’ve changed this year and I sat down with my journal to receive His answer. Here’s the quick list that I believe He gave me:
I’m bolder.
I’m more intentional.
I’m freer.
I’m more humble.
I love better.
I’m more passionate about sharing the Gospel.
I’m more grateful.
I’m more extroverted.
I’m more open to God’s will.
I trust God more.
I’m more aware of the world around me.
How have I seen God at work around the world?
I’ve seen the enemy and God working in so many regions of the earth. I’ve seen nominal Christianity and a heavy religious spirit keep people in bondage in Central America. I’ve seen fear and violence rule the streets in the slums of Costa Rica. I’ve seen children abandoned by their mothers at birth in Honduras. I’ve seen Islamic oppression in Malaysia. I’ve seen Buddhism, animism, and idol/ancestor/spirit worship in Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia. I’ve seen women and children enslaved to lust all across Southeast Asia. I’ve seen remote villages in Laos where thousands of people live, never having heard the name of Jesus. I’ve seen the results of a genocide that almost killed off an entire generation in Cambodia. I’ve seen HIV/AIDS destroy families and societies in Swaziland, Botswana, Namibia and South Africa. I’ve seen poverty smother so many beautiful lives. I’ve seen children wearing brutal scars that serve as permanent reminders of the abuse done to them. I’ve seen disease and violence leave millions of children orphaned.
But I’ve seen redemption and restoration in individual lives. I’ve seen children discipling other children in the slums. I’ve seen babies who were once abandoned now know they are loved and belong in a family. I’ve seen radical Christians preaching the Gospel in the streets of Malaysia, and Malays giving their lives to Jesus, even though it’s against the law to convert from Islam. I’ve seen God heal people on the streets. I’ve seen Jesus in the eyes of the poor. I’ve seen former Buddhists now living their lives for Christ. I’ve seen women escape trafficking and find dignity in new work. I’ve seen children rescued out of trafficking and given everything they need for a new start. I’ve seen a generation recovering from genocide, and filled with hope for the future. I’ve seen thousands of orphans being fed, clothed, and discipled. I’ve seen the love of God touch, heal and transform so many precious people. I’ve seen Christians acting as the hands and feet of Jesus as they are moved by the compassion of our Father’s heart. I’ve seen God rescue and set the captive free. I’ve seen God’s miraculous provision. I’ve seen His plans unfold in perfect, beautiful ways. I’ve seen family united in Christ all across the nations. I’ve seen churches built, organizations started, and justice enforced on earth as it is in Heaven.
What are some of the most important lessons I’ve learned?
No pressure. I realized this year that I have lived my whole life putting way too much pressure on myself and my actions. I worry too much about what I say or do, for fear of doing or saying something wrong. This would especially come up when praying for people (especially for healing). I was plagued with fears like, “What if God doesn’t show up? What if they’re not healed? What will they think of God then?” That’s not up to me. I can’t heal anyone. Only God can do that part. All He asks me to do is pray for the people for whom He leads me to pray. So I do my part and leave His part to Him. The pressure’s off.
My friend Abel in Malaysia is the one who pointed out that I was putting too much pressure on myself, and informed me that in reality, all the pressure is on the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. God is able to do what He says He is going to do, so I don’t need to stress over how my actions affect situations. I’m learning not to take myself too seriously. Someone’s salvation doesn’t depend on my words or actions. It’s about what God is doing in their hearts. If I am available for God to use me to play a part in it, then that’s an awesome privilege, but the results are up to God, not me.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,
according to the power at work within us.
–Ephesians 3:20
Just love. I’ve learned that loving people is the most important thing I could ever do with my life. And love isn’t just a feeling. Love looks like something. It’s a verb, an action. It’s tangible. Sometimes it looks like smiling and laughing with people when you have no way else to communicate because of the language barrier. Sometimes it looks like giving someone a little bit of your time to listen to their story. Sometimes it looks like picking up a dirty, smelly child. Sometimes it looks like buying the homeless man a meal from KFC. Sometimes it looks like giving a gift to someone to show appreciation. Sometimes it means buying 100 boxes of fried rice and passing them out on the streets of Siem Reap. Sometimes it means asking a friend how they are doing, just because you care. Sometimes it means giving your clothes away to the homeless in Cape Town. As important as it is to share the Gospel with words, I believe simply demonstrating God’s love in a tangible way is the most powerful way to help someone encounter God.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:
just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
–John 13:34
Live in Freedom. I’ve experienced a greater degree of freedom this year than ever before. A lot of times, we Christians think we need to do a lot of stuff in order to be right with God. But really, that’s the complete opposite of the Gospel. The Gospel is that I CAN’T EVER do enough to be right with God, that’s why I need Jesus. So I’ve let go of a lot of religious things that used to keep me bound up in trying to please God. For example, there were lots of days on the Race when I didn’t find time to read my Bible, but I went out and lived the Bible by loving the people God put in front of me. Not that reading my Bible is a bad thing (Heavens no!), I’ve just put my priorities in a better order. I actually probably read my Bible less, done less personal “quiet time,” and gone to church less this year than I ever have in my life. But through that God is showing me that those aren’t the only ways I can be close to Him. He is with the hurting, the broken, the poor, the needy. So when I am with them, I’m with Him. It’s not about what I do, it’s about what Jesus has already done. That sets me free.
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore,
and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
— Galatians 5:1
Thank you so much to everyone who has loved, prayed, supported, and followed me through this Race. I seriously can’t describe how grateful I am for the amazing support that I have at home. It makes coming home so much better. It’s been an incredible journey, and I know it’s just the beginning, because with Jesus, everything is an adventure. I can’t wait to share more of my trip with each and every one of you when I get home. Please feel free to reach out to me, ask me questions, and fill me in on all the wonderful things I’ve missed at home while I’ve been away.
I have fought the good fight,
I have finished the race,
I have kept the faith.
–2 Timothy 4:7
