Gratefulness is coming out of every pore on my body. My God is so good. He loves so extravagantly and intricately and frivolously. He loves me. Melody Haskin. He loves me so much that He gives me grace every morning or if I’m more honest every hour. Ok fine, a couple times every hour every day. It’s hard giving that much grace (or so I would think). I’m having a hard enough time figuring out how to give grace in my human way to my human teammates who love the Lord. How can the God of the entire everything give me (something-He-created) grace constantly.
I have to struggle to keep my emotions in check. Sometimes where it feels like the evil sin nature wants to burn a deep, deep black hole in me starting in my heart.
And still He loves. ME.
Today was a struggle day.
For a recovering People Pleaser, it was a failure day.
I could not get on the bus out of Phang Nga fast enough.
Praying over and over Lord give me grace so I can give grace. I can not give grace without Yours in me.
And He did. Is’nt that the most incredible thing you’ve ever heard? He gave me grace when I’m hot, sweaty, smelly with my sin nature trying to stir up a storm in me. Grace.
Not only did He give me grace. Because He is too big for just that. But He also gave me time to recover from the stressful day before getting on the bus. He also gave me time to walk to 7 eleven, to cool off both physically and emotionally. He also gave me a coffee shop, a coffee shop worthy of being instagrammed (you know you just pictured it, you’re probably pretty close). AND free wi-fi. Then I get to get on the bus with my coffee and my loaded pinterest and new music(Jesus Culture) to the plush seats in the bottom of the bus (coveted seating). God prompts an awesome conversation about heart matters with my gorgeous God-fearing sister(Tressa). All the while putting the most awesome display of color in the sky from BOTH sides of the bus. So many mountains and trees and clouds and colors!! I feel so spoiled by my Father. “If you then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11
This is just in the span of 3 hours y’all!
Can you get over this goodness?
Now just imagine this, God knows my love languages. Oh wait what? The God who CREATED ME knows how best I receive love? Nahh cant be.
I realize this is not the first time Ive talked about this and maybe you’re tired of hearing me talk about the small things He’s doing. But oh man, I’m realizing how in the Western American world we don’t give Him enough credit for what He does. The Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf? “In the same way the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27
He is constantly giving me little moments from Him and I got used to explaining them away and taking them for granted.
How I love noticing now all the very specific ways He loves on me.
** family EagleRest hopefully I’ll have a post up about y’all soon! thank you for so much for bringing us into the family**
