I have decided to follow Jesus
NO turning back!
That’s the scariest part of this. Knowing things are going to change. I feel pretty confident that I will not be coming back getting another local apartment and getting these jobs back. Essentially not picking up next June where I’m leaving off. Not that there is anything wrong with this. BUT I will/I am having the opportunity to go see people in 11 different countries, 4 continents(I’m feeling the need to go back to high school World Geography, we’ll pretend that I’m confident I used the correct terminology). I will get to see the Lord working everywhere.(I mean think of all these different languages in which I will be able to hear people professing our Lord?!) I will see Christians worshipping Him in ways we’ve never seen. I will see people living in situations that we cannot imagine even though we’ve heard.
God is going to provide $16,500! Y’all that is such a substantial amount of money. Money that God is going to prompt people to give. Money I do not have! He is already providing faith, He is already trying to shake my anxiety and doubt about being ready. He is preparing me for something completely new and completely different than our default mindset. The second I step on that first plane I know I will no longer be content and able to go back. This is my inciting incident. I had this blog already written when I sat in the airport yesterday and read something that was precisely what I’m feeling.
“Robert McKee says humans naturally seek comfort and stability. Without an inciting incident that disrupts their comfort, they won’t enter into a story. They have to get fired from their job or be forced to sign up for a marathon. A ring has to be purchased. A home has to be sold. The character has to jump into the story, into DISCOMFORT and the FEAR, otherwise the story will never happen ” p. 104. A Million Miles In A Thousand Years
So, right now I ‘ve been like Jacob wrestling with God. I know this is going to be amazing but my flesh is repelling this uncomfortableness. I am so glad God is not content leaving me content in not leaving.
I am so excited about seeing all of the thoughts I will have on this trip. I am beyond excited to see exactly how God is going to wreck my preconceived notions. To go for my Lord is such a privilege(the longer you stare at the word the more it looks incorrect). I am honored to be able to obey and more than that I am so grateful that He has put up with and looked beyond my toddler kicking and screaming that has taken place.I am so thankful that we are supposed to seek first Him and not my comfortable beautiful life. I am thankful that this, all of this is something I am not able to do. That this is all on/in His strength.
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory! ” Ephesians 3:20
