Somehow, the weeks have passed by and we are entering May. We arrived safely in our 10th country, beginning our 10th month of ministry nearly a week ago. Uh, where did the time go? Month 10?! Didn’t I just start this journey?
It’s funny. As we begin each month, I ask Jesus what He wants me to learn/work on/press into. I went into the month of Zimbabwe having a lot of feels. A lot of havoc in my heart for a lot of things. Feelings of inadequacy in my role as a leader, as a friend. Feelings of being unloved as a teammate and friend both near and far for reasons I’m still unsure of. Missing home. Not ready to do home…
All. The. Things!
At the end of my time in South Africa, my incredible hosts Luke and Elaine had a vision of me as a sunflower. I’m in a field with others but I’m facing the Sun and I’m growing towards it. Elaine had said that I was leaning towards Him and all I needed to do was keep leaning, I’ll lead the way for others.
So at the beginning of Zim- I decided that my final months are going to be leaning into the Son! Taking my eyes off of my feet, where I’m standing and how I’m feeling and putting my eyes where they belong. I learned dependency in a whole new level.
Zimbabwe was a gift that I never saw coming. My feelings of inadequacy? I had 20 something babies that thought I was super woman because of how high I could throw them. My feelings of being unloved? I was chased with kisses and hugs ever minute of every day. God gave me exactly what I needed, in the most unexpected form, to remind me of His goodness and His great great love that goes farther than I knew how to comprehend. But all of those good gifts come with weight, being entrusted with gifts come responsibility. This month, as I learned dependency like never before, I learned the hardest lesson yet of holding loosely and loving deeply.
The Race is such a beautiful experience that is easily glorified by cute Instagram photos and Facebook posts. But behind the lens of a camera and behind the letters of this blog lay real people, with real stories.
This month, we worked with abandoned and vulnerable children. We learned the horror stories that brought them into the love and care of our host. We hugged and sent away the ones who outgrew the age limit of the house we worked in. We hugged and kissed our babies as they rested peacefully in their beds as we drove away one last time, with them none the wiser.
We left Zimbabwe knowing that the work began well before we arrived, when those sweet babes arrived in the loving care of our Brothers and Sisters. And that work extends well beyond us. God is in control. He hasn’t failed us and He won’t stop now y’all.
Great is His faithfulness that stands like the mountains.
“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21
Lots of love, Melissa
