No matter what season I find myself in I just can’t seem to figure out this whole “contentment” thing. I never seem to really appreciate the gift that each season has to offer me.
And I suppose when you’re in your thirties you start to reflect on the past and really feel the pull to see unfulfilled desires become fulfilled at long last. But God doesn’t always answer my prayers the way I want Him to. I sometimes think He delights in answering the exact opposite of what I want! ha!
Also, this April I turn 33. Weird. Definitely weird. And countless times I’ve been reminded that Jesus died around the same age as me. That’s a sobering thought.
I honestly can’t imagine how He must have felt – did He still want to live? Did He still want to be close to His family & friends? Did He want to travel more? Laugh more? Heal more? Did He have dreams? Did He have unfulfilled desires? Was He fully satisfied with the years that He lived on earth?
Ultimately, He surrendered to God’s will. His death meant that you and I can live in freedom on earth and one day be with Him in heaven. Where would we all be today if He decided otherwise?
Perhaps you and I can learn a great lesson here. We never fully know what the Lord is up to in our lives. Oh, we like to think that we are in control, but let’s be honest – we all know that’s not true. If you’re like me, I become angry and offended that God would withhold people and positions and things that I think I deserve.
But alas, I am not in control of my life. I am at the mercy of a compassionate God who chose to die rather than live for Himself.
A.W. Tozer says, “The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things. The blessed ones who possess the Kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing.”
So the question remains:
What or whom is possessing me in this season?
What or whom is possessing you in this season?
Are you willing to give up that person, that dream, that sin? Are you willing to “abnegate all things?”
Now don’t get me wrong. It’ll hurt. Surrendering our will to the Lord always does.
We deny ourselves. But we are given so much more.
And it’s in this paradox when we’re never fully satisfied with the things of earth that we find true contentment.
This is my prayer:
“Lord, help me get to a place where the only thing I’m worried about is helping others get to heaven. God, when will that become my only desire? When will this world hold no more temptation for me? I let go of wanting to be in control. And just like Jesus, Thy will be done in life and death.”
May we all find contentment in our surrender.
Much love,
Melissa
“Now godliness with contentment is great gain.”
– I Timothy 6:6
“Everything I have. Everything I own. Everything I hope for. Everything I fear. Everything I love. Everything I dream. It’s all Yours, Jesus. I trust You in complete and utter abandon.” – Lysa TerKeurst
