Eleven weeks ago, I got a phone call that changed everything. I had just finished, what felt like psychoanalyzing myself for days, filling out the application for The World Race when I scheduled the phone call. I thought the call was just another step in a long process. So when she told me I was accepted, I freaked out. You know that moment when Miss America is crowned and her hand flies to her mouth and starts shaking and she begins to ugly-cry because she’s so happy? Yeah… That’s pretty much what happened.
Immediately my life became a whirlwind of change. Some changes I was prepared for, while others were completely unexpected. If you are curious what my life looks like while preparing for the race, or are wondering what God is doing to prepare my heart for the journey to come, then keep on reading.
I’m going to start with how different my day to day life is since the day I received that phone call. One major change is that I am no longer working a full-time job. I had already given my job notice and had enrolled in school full-time, but right before classes started The World Race accepted me and gears shifted towards full-time fundraising. I spend most of my days now sending various emails, setting up and attending meetings, and planning event after event. I just finished two fundraisers and in a week or so will be on my next one. I am well on my way towards my first goal of $5,000 by July 31st. God has blessed me with an amazing community who are stepping up to help me reach these goals and I am forever grateful for them!
For someone without a job, I feel more busy now than I was before. I am an introvert through and through, so the fact that I am talking to people so much is astonishing to me. I am going to meetings, setting up phone calls, talking to bible studies, and starting conversations with random people everywhere! I cannot go anywhere without talking to someone about what is going on with my preparations. It seemed for a while like I was talking to everyone except God.
Now comes the hard part. What has God been doing in my life lately and how is it changing me? It was really easy to get so busy with all the other things that needed to get done, that I just put my spiritual growth on the back burner. Phrases like, “I’ll read my bible tomorrow.” or “I can’t take time to just be still right now because I have this, this, and this to do” became my go-to answer for everything. There never seemed like enough hours in the day. I forgot that when I go on this mission I need to not only be physically and financially ready, but also spiritually strong. I had forgotten that I am strongest when I am with Him. I got to the point where I was Martha.
“But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” Luke 10:41-42a ESV
I was so busy trying to make sure I was getting everything done, that I was neglecting my relationship with Christ. I was worried people would think I was being lazy and not doing anything with my time. I told myself I wasn’t doing enough. I got to the point where I felt empty. I had poured out so much without refilling, that I was drained completely. I had to stop. I had forgotten that Martha missed out on the opportunity to sit with Jesus because she was working so hard to make sure everything else was done first.
I woke up one morning and drove out of town to the canyon that’s nearby. I put in my headphones and began to hike. I didn’t have to go too far before I found a good place to stay a while. I stayed there all day. I may not be the world’s best vocalist, but I’ve always loved worshipping through song. That day I found myself singing at the top of my lungs, probably scaring off any other hikers in the area, and just talking to God. He reminded me that I don’t have to be overwhelmed. That I don’t have to do this all alone. That I can’t.
I struggle with being a people pleaser, so its no secret that, occasionally, I also struggle with trying to please God through works. God has been reminding me that what He wants, more than anything else, is my heart. That works are nothing without relationship. That I need to be preparing just as much spiritually, as anything else. I had forgotten that. I had allowed all the “to do’s” to get in the way. I had neglected the relationship that I was doing all of this for!
Once I re-centered, things became so much easier. The work load didn’t lighten but my anxiety did. I was able to see areas in my life where I was holding on to hurts and I have been working to heal them. I have had to release control and fully rely on God to help me when I am talking to others about The World Race. By doing so, I have been able to truly see God blessing this mission already. You may think that my mission begins in October, but honestly its already started. God is using this opportunity to impact my community right now. I’ve been able to talk to so many people that I never would have had an opportunity to speak to without this mission to push me out of my comfort zone. Through talking with these people, my community is expanding. My circle of support is growing every single day and God is using me and my story to inspire others. It’s so humbling knowing that in all the craziness, in all the chaos that is my life, God is still using me. I am learning to accept that and stop trying to earn what has already been given.
With all that said, I’d like to ask for prayers as I continue to prepare for this journey. Please be in prayer for my identity. That I remember who I am and what I can do through Christ. Pray for focus. Pray for funding to continue coming in. Pray for my community. I’m so very blessed with the amount of support they are showing me. Pray for motivation to continue following the voice of God. Finally, pray for my teammates and for the eleven countries we are about to travel to. Pray that God be preparing not only our hearts, but also the hearts of those we are going to encounter.
These past eleven weeks, I have traveled the world, lost a loved one, and felt so drained and overwhelmed.These past eleven weeks, I’ve also found peace in surrender, and beauty in standing still. I’ve grown my community, ugly-cried like Miss America, and stepped far beyond the comfort zone I like to stay inside. If this is any indication of what The World Race is going to be, you’d better buckle up! This may be a pretty exciting emotional rollercoaster, but I know I’m ready to take on the ride ahead with my hands in the air. Though, I might have to close my eyes at times. I’ve learned so much in these past eleven weeks. I cannot wait to see how much I will learn in eleven months!
