Can much really happen in three days? The answer, of course, is yes. We all know Jesus died and rose again in three days. Three days can change everything, and for me it did. My life was completely overhauled, and, suddenly, I was running down the path towards God. Ultimately, running towards The World Race. I want to share this story. This experience that changed everything, but for you to fully understand the transformation that happened in me, I need to share with you the person I used to be. I was an angry person, and felt completely justified in my anger. “If you had to go through what I had to go through, you’d be mad too.” At least that’s what I told myself.
My story begins at the age of seven. Back when I first saw the cruelty of the world. When I lost my child-like sense of wonder and found fear instead. When I was seven years old, I was raped. The world wasn’t safe anymore. My rose-colored glasses and sense of security were ripped away. Taken before I even knew I would miss them. I grew up knowing I wasn’t safe. That I was weak. That the world could be a very dark place.
Growing up afraid made me angry. My anger led to poor choices, which hurt me even more. So, my defense was to form a wall around my heart. An impenetrable force to protect me from all the hurt. With every punch life threw at me, the thicker the wall became, but no wall was thick enough to protect me from the blow that came my first semester of college.
College was a new start for me. I wasn’t going to be the girl I was before, but I was lonely and homesick. My parents told me to go out and make some friends. So, when I got invited to a work party, I went. I thought I must have gotten there early because no one was there yet except for my boss. No one else ever came. It happened again, and I was shattered. If this was how the world was, I didn’t want to be a part of it. I shut myself away from everything and everyone. I didn’t leave my house for an entire year.
Eventually I left my house again, but I lived life completely numb and void of any emotion at all. I blocked out everything and everyone, and when those pesky feelings tried to break through, I would silence them with drugs and partying. The relationships I made were only superficial because I wouldn’t allow anyone to get close to me. People hurt me, and I was not going to let that happen again. I wasn’t really living, I was only surviving. This is where I was when I finally started to notice God.
When I first saw God, it was through the lives of my friends. All my party friends started going to church instead of the bar, and I was angry again. How could they ditch me for something so stupid? Didn’t they realize how much of a scam religion was?
I decided, then, that I was going to prove that God wasn’t real. I mean, how could there be a God who loves me when my life had been so hard? Why would he put me through the things I had to go through if he was real? No! I knew he wasn’t real. I started taking classes, going to bible studies, and researching everything that I could to find the proof I needed. I came up empty handed. I could not prove that God wasn’t real, so I had to look at the other side. What if I gave God the opportunity to be real? What would happen then?
What happened is an amazing story. I cried out to God when I was at my most desperate. Praying to Him for the first time, asking Him to show up, to save me because I couldn’t do it anymore. Three days later, God showed up. He answered my prayer and I could no longer deny His existence, but I didn’t know what came next. What was I supposed to do now? The answer was a simple three-day weekend. I was given the opportunity to go on a retreat called A Walk To Emmaus.
There, I not only learned how to begin to live a Christian life, but I also got to hear testimony after testimony of God’s amazing grace and love. I found a love for hearing the testimonies of others. How each one of them are very different, but all still show what an amazing savior we have. I was able to go before the cross and ask God to help tear down the wall I had been building for so long. I was shown so much love from the community of believers that for the first time in my life, I finally felt peace. A true peace that goes beyond understanding. Emmaus not only helped me tremendously in my walk with Christ, but also set my feet upon the path towards The World Race. I heard the voice of God speak to me through a man named Joe James who was clergy on the weekend. We had never met before, and I haven’t spoken to him since, but he told me something that I will never forget. He said that God put it on his heart to tell me that if I listen to the words of John 2:5, in three to five years I would not believe where God would take me.
“His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever He tells you.'” John 2:5 ESV
This upcoming spring will make three years since these words were spoken into my life. This upcoming spring I will be in the mission field, going to 11 countries in 11 months sharing the gospel. I must say, Joe was right, but it didn’t take three years. My life changed immediately into something unrecognizable. Gone were the days of partying and selfish isolation. I immersed myself in community with other believers and didn’t look back.
Sow how does this all lead to The World Race?
Well, through Emmaus, I started allowing people back into my heart. I broke away from the fear that had kept me captive for so long and found that my love for others is far greater than my fear of them. I started volunteering in my church. I started reading the word to learn it, not to disprove it. I even got the opportunity to teach it! I learned what the voice of God sounds like. I started to rely on His direction, instead of my own. He started working on my heart the day He broke that wall.
God has been preparing me for this long before I even knew. I am nowhere near perfect now, but I think the mess that is my past has equipped me far more than I realize. God made it perfectly clear to me that The World Race is what I’m supposed to do. I knew from the moment I heard about it that this was God’s plan for me because I learned what His voice sounds like. Through prayer from not just myself, but so many others in my community He confirmed that with me. He is constantly reaffirming this decision everyday. He doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called, and I was called to go.
Now I place my future in His hands knowing I couldn’t be safer. For me, that is more than I could ever ask for. I can leave fear and anger behind me, and follow the calling He has placed on my life. I will go wherever He tells me to go. I will do whatever He tells me to do, because I am His servant!
There is so much that can happen in three days. My whole world changed. In three days, I went from lost to found. In three days, I went from afraid to peaceful. In three days, I went from atheist to Jesus freak. I don’t know about you, but maybe my lucky number should be three. It seems to be a pretty powerful number to me.
