Being in India is like being in a whole new world. We have left the Western Hemisphere, and things are different here. Our days here are filled with “not in Kansas anymore”� moments that run the spectrum from delightful to bizarre to uncomfortable. Here are a few that come to mind:
- Kids here don’t play pick-up basketball, they play pick-up cricket
- “A little bit spicy” translates to “eat at your own risk”�
- Cows don’t graze in pastures, they graze in the trash on the side of the road
- The nonexistence of wi-fi: I expected that in the jungle in Bolivia, but I’m still baffled that I can’t get my laptop online anywhere in the IT capital of India (this blog brought to you by an internet cafe – remember those places where you could pay to use a desktop computer?)
- Motorcycle = mass transit: yup, that’s a family of five on one tiny moto
- If you’re not honking, you’re not driving
- The head bobble of agreement: in addition to nodding yes and shaking no, Indians tilt their heads side-to-side to agree with you; you’ll have to take my word for it that this is indescribably delightful and amusing
- Scheduling something means there’s like a 40% chance you’ll be doing something else entirely: e.g. you show up at a house to lead worship and then get a phone call that you’re going to church right now instead; once you arrive at church you’re informed that you’ll immediately be leading Bible study
- Is that man pooping on the side of the foot path? Yes, yes he is
- Rolling blackouts: we are now completely unfazed by losing power and/or water multiple times daily
- Segregated buses: ladies sit in front and gents in the back, which is something I appreciate knowing the kind of harassment that happens in Washington, DC’s transit system
- The exchange rate: one American dollar is about 62 rupees, so my lunch the other day cost roughly 50 cents
- Exodus plague-like mosquitos: they only come out at night (thank God), but I have never experienced anything like the dense clouds of mosquitos here; if you stand outside and swing your arms, you’ll feel dozens of them bouncing off of you
- Ladies in saris riding sidesaddle on the back of motorcycles: it makes sense since they can’t straddle the seat in their long skirts, but it cracked me up the first time I saw it
I hope you’ve enjoyed this snapshot of the quirks of living in India. It makes me wonder what crazy, weird things people notice when they visit the United States for the first time.
