Scene: Sunday morning, and I actually woke up on time to make it to Sunday School. If only I could get there…My hair a little wet but dressed my best, because working at a summer camp makes a girl miss the moments she gets to spice her outfit up a little. Finally, I'm able to hitch-hike my way to church (not literally, Dad, don't worry…), although it's cost me Sunday School to find a ride (and this is of course entirely my fault for not arranging a ride earlier in the week. Again.). I walk into the church just in time to catch the 'fellowship moment' where everyone is shaking hands, and that's when it happens.
Their expressions become grave. Deathly grave.
They'll hold my hand a little longer than socially acceptable.
And then they'll ask me the same question they've asked every week since at least February.
"How much longer? How much longer will you be with us, dear?"
Alright, so maybe this is from a slightly exaggerated perspective, but the entire thing has still been immensely humorous for me. I've lived here in Newport, Tennessee, for just over a year now, and have been going to Lincoln Avenue Baptist Church for about the same. These people have been a delight to spend the last year with, and I love them dearly. But ever since I told them I planned on moving to California in the fall to go to college, it suddenly seemed that they had already begun the grieving process. I am confident that every week I have been asked at least once when I'll be leaving, despite continually giving the same answer: August.
And now it's August. This week the grave inquiry turned into a surprised, "Oh, you're still here?" Now, I know these people are not eager to get rid of me (correct me if I'm wrong, haha). In fact, I'm pretty sure that between my pastor, my manager, and a couple others, the possibility of me being 'kidnapped' and 'held hostage' is higher than it's ever been in my life! However, it looks like a move that drastic won't be necessary to keep me here just a little bit longer…
A lot has happened in my life this summer. In fact, I've secretly been calling it the 'Earthquake Season' of my life. Some relationships have been lost, and some relationships have been gained. My brave little brother went through his fourth surgery in a year and is about to go through a fifth. I've moved from living with my dad to living in a lodge in the mountains to work at a summer camp facility. And I've decided not to go to college this fall. I've decided not to move to California.
It was a tough decision. A scary decision. But I believe, necessary. I'm sure Biola (the Bible Institute of Los Angelos) would have been a great experience and a great place for an education. In fact, that's why I've asked them to hold onto my application for the next two years. But once again, I strongly felt that there was something more important for me to do than to start on my Gen Eds. With prayer, and after talking to a couple of my mentors, I knew it was time for me to take another step of faith. I unenrolled from Biola while asking GOD, "What next?"
I know I am a speaker, and will one day be an author. A college degree would of course be beneficial, yet not quite necessary. So what could I need more than that? I evaluated the direction my life was going. I analyzed my passions and aspirations. I contemplated my purpose and calling in life. I prayed. And what I came up with felt like a handful of freshly picked daisies, a fist of petite weeds. I don't know, maybe I was hoping for a bouquet of roses. Isn't it always easier when GOD hands you this booming, clear vision statement with every step labeled along the way and little subscripts at the bottom filled with encouragement? A gift of plump, satisfying roses?
But these were my daisies…It wasn't everything I'd hoped for, not as satisfying as I'd envisioned stepping out in faith would have been, but it was just enough…just enough to believe.
My daisies.
A worship song: "All eyes look to You for their needs…All who look to You receive…"
A testimony: Billy Graham's admittance of not knowing everything about God, and choosing faith…
A bible verse:
"I count everything as LOSS because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus…"
A burning passion: To know the Bride of Christ. To know her, her strengths, her weaknesses, her needs. And not just the American version of her. From a worldwide perspective. In order to serve her, minister to her. To build up the church, enunciate the Truth, and inspire towards a greater love for GOD and Jesus.
And a peace….
These, my friends, these are my daisies. And like a compass, they have brought me to the World Race.
Thus begins my new adventure. Looks like Lincoln Avenue will have me for a little longer. And California? Well……..
It'll still be there when I get back.
