Two words that most of us long to be: approved of and appreciated.
I’m finding that these are 2 words I struggle with. The Lord has been revealing that to me more in the past couple weeks… It’s funny how He brings things to the light in His timing.
Last Thursday, I listened to a podcast by one of the World Race leaders, Bill Swann, called “Leadership & Approval Addiction”. This is a message I heard before launch but the squad leaders recently sent us the link to it and told us to listen to it again. I almost didn’t- ‘I still have the notes from the message at launch and I’ve learned this already,’ …I’m glad I didn’t listen to my flesh.
People-pleasing is something Bill calls “approval addiction” in his message. Surely I’m not addicted to approval…right?
Turns out it’s more ingrained in my life than I thought. I learned some valuable things by listening to his message again:
-People-pleasing is actually very selfish- you will often try to please others in order to get the message back that you are ok, you are significant, you are valued. This turns into something that is not so much about others, but about you.
-It’s dangerous for other people to have the power of determining if you are ok, if you are approved of—only God should hold that power.
-You have to be set free from needing people in order to truly love them or lead them well
–If you haven’t found freedom from approval, you haven’t found your identity…pretty intense stuff
Then, a couple days later, during our team time we listened to the next sermon in a series by Mark Driscoll that we are listening to on the book of Ephesians. The sermon was titled “I am appreciated.”
The Lord so kindly brought me another sermon on a similar subject…He knows that sometimes I need repetition in order for things to sink in 🙂
This sermon was about seeking your appreciation from the Lord and not from others around you. He highlighted the ugly behaviors we often show when we are feeling unappreciated and when we look to others to gain that feeling of appreciation.
He spoke from the text in Ephesians 1:15-23:
“For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
He highlighted 4 areas:
-Appreciated people exchange grumbling for praying
-If you wait to feel appreciated by those around you it will almost always disappoint and lead to grumbling (sometimes not verbally but in your spirit). Instead, we need to know and realize the Lord sees our service and He appreciates our work and dedication.
-Appreciated people exchange competing for celebrating
-If you feel the need to be appreciated by people everything will become about performance and competition. When you realize it’s all about His name and not about making your own name great, you will lay down bitterness and competition and pick up thankfulness and celebrating.
-Appreciated people exchange performing for serving
-Performance is something we do for others, serving is something we do for God. Performance binds you to the opinions of others, but when you walk in true appreciation and approval from the Lord it frees you to truly serve.
-Appreciated people exchange boasting for encouraging
–When we feel appreciated by the Lord we can boast in His name and not our own and encourage those around us in their service and work for the Kingdom.
I’m finding that I struggle with performance, approval and appreciation issues more than I could have ever known if I’d stayed back home. This is a journey that presses you and reveals things in you, deep seeded things, that would probably never have been exposed back home.
It is tough, but it is good and it is growing me. I’m growing to learn that I don’t need the approval or appreciation of others, because I am approved of and appreciated by God. Of course these are things that almost every human desires, but I am learning they are not things I need in order to live out the will of God.
I’m learning that approval and appreciation from man seems more gratifying and pleasing because it is tangible and physical, but it’s almost always fleeting. Approval from the Lord is unwavering and eternal for those whose hope is in Him.
“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I’ve found that it is worth following the calling and the words Christ has impressed on you despite what earthly approval you may receive. You, in fact, may receive no praise from those around you in this life, but in the end if you have lived out your calling and the will of God, you will hear the most amazing words of approval and appreciation as you enter eternity…words spoken by God himself as He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)
Today, I made some declarations to the Lord over myself and I will continue to declare these things until I fully believe them:
-I am approved of by you, Lord
-I am appreciated by you
-You have called me, and you will equip me to live out my calling well
-Your word dwells in my heart and in my mouth, (Deut 30:14) and you have called me to have a strong voice for you
-You are for me, Lord…so who can be against me? What can man do to me? (Romans 8:31)
-I hear from you and you direct my steps
-Your approval and appreciation of me is enough
-I live and serve for your approval and appreciation alone.
It may take a while to fully sink in and to live in the fullness of what it looks like to lead a life that reflects these truths…but I think each day of this journey is bringing me closer to truly living it out.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10
