188: Days ago I committed to the World Race
41: Days left till graduation when I say goodbye to all the students I love.
55: Days left until I finally get to meet the awesome WOW Squad–my family for 11 months!
96: Days until I leave my family, friends and everything known for everything unkown except the love of God
Those numbers are absolutely crazy! It hasn't yet hit that I'm made it past the halfway point (July was so far away back in September) or even that I leave in less than 100 days. Less than 100 days. I need to take a minute and stick my head between my knees…
It's weird that this is so weird. So scary. So overwhelming. I mean this quite literally, (I know I have a tendancy to exagerate so I wanted to give a disclaimer first) I have thought about the World Race every day since I first decided to apply back in August. Every. Single. Day. That's alot of days and alot of thoughts.
While getting ready in the morning I wonder at the people I'll meet. In a boring meeting my mind wanders to what expereinces I have. While hanging out with friends I mentally run through my preparation to do list for the upteenth time. Before bed each night I worry that I won't be good enough, that my teammates will dislike me, that I'll be too stubborn in my ways for God to really move in my life. For over 200 days I've had these thoughts. It's exhausting. And I've still got 96 more to go.
A little while ago I became so overwhelmed I actually decided I was taking a break from the World Race. I just needed a minute. Or maybe 300 minutes. So I wasn't going to think about it for a few days. It was impossible. So now I just take deep breaths and tell myself it's going to be ok. I'll get everything together (including the dreaded fundraising), if my teammates hate me, we'll talk it out and move on and God tends to be a bit more powerful than me, so if He has to knock me over to get me to pay attention, He will. It'll probably hurt but in the end I'll know it was worth it.
So this blog was kind of random but I felt like breaking the 100 days barrier was a big deal and should have a blog. So here it is. Are you counting down with me?
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I'm pretty sure there's going to be a part two of this blog in which I am much more encouraging about these past 188 days! I've learned a lot about myself, how I intereact with God and others and I'd like to share that too–because that get's me super excited for the other 96 days before I leave!
