So a while ago I wrote a blog where I referenced some verses in Luke 9. And even though that was forever ago those verses continue to sit with me. They just seem to pop up everywhere and I find myself staring off into space processing the words. Here are the verses again:
As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
For a while they haunted me wondering if I would truly be faithful to God and His calling. And now, in the crazy awesomeness that is God they offer me comfort. What is even more strange is that I would find comfort from verses that are found under the heading of "The Cost of Following Jesus". Usually when we talk about the cost of something it's not in a pleasant way. But here's what I've been mulling over; what if Jesus said to come now because He knew they would doubt if left to wait? What if He was watching out for them?
I love my squad. I don't know them (yet) but I love them. We facebook, blog, text, encourage and pray for eachother. And what I've noticed is we all are on a scary rollarcoaster of emotions. Somedays we are so sure. So sure of God's plan and our place in it. And other days we question, we worry, we doubt. Most of us have been preparing for this since early fall, that 's a long time for seeds of doubt to be planted.
So how do these verses offer comfort? Because I think Jesus knew. He knew that if that guy went home to bury his dad family obligations would get in the way. A relative would need him to do some work, he'd see the importance of what he was doing at home and wonder if maybe that wasn't good enough. If maybe Jesus didn't really mean him to go then anyway. Or maybe Jesus knew if the other guy went to say goodbye to his family they would try to talk him out of it. That it's too big of a job or how will he ever get married or support a family if he's wandering around following Jesus. In the same way God knows my (and squadmates) struggles. The struggle to keep positive when fundraising is slow moving or the struggle to be sure in our calling when friends and family question the decision. There's comfort knowing that I just need to keep going on the path marked out for me, that God calls me to go now (though I wish it really was now I take it as in now this time in my life) and isn't going to change the expectations.
And since it's almost Easter my final thought will combine the holiday and this post because I'm just that good 🙂 So on Sunday I was visiting Brockton Church of the Nazarene (some of the warmest, funniest people I've ever met!) and the focus of the sermon was on the crowd. On Palm Sunday the crowd is singing HOSANNA! Then on Friday they are yelling out CRUCIFY! That's quite the change in just 5 short days. Why? Because they were discouraged, disappointed. They had all these expectations of Jesus the king and savior and He wasn't fufulling that vision. He wasn't destroying the Romans and performing these crazy miracles. Doubt seeped in. Maybe He wasn't who they thought He was. He didn't fit their idea of king and savior.
For the past 8 months I've been preparing for this, sharing my story, raising money and trying to bring glory to God. What if tomorrow I wrote a blog saying I wasn't going to do it. The money didn't come in by the time I expected it to so clearly God didn't want me to go. Or I'm just not growing enough spiritually to do this, God doesn't want somone like me doing this ministry. I hope lots of you would be surprised and I'd get some frantic phone calls trying to talk some sense into me.
So the goal of this post? As with most, I'm not sure there is one, other than we must be vigilant. Doubt is so sneaky and will try to get in any way possible. We need to hold tight to whatever call God gives us for the time in our life and leave our expectations of how He'll work through the call at the door.
Be encouraged and Happy Easter! He is Risen, Risen indeed!
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