Kim, Jessie and I getting our game faces on for a youth program
So here's some more good old honesty; there are some people that just get under my skin. And to be even more honest, I just can't stand some people. When I see someone with a sign that says "God hates fags" I literally want to punch them in the face. When I hear stories of rape, I want to vomit and then kick someone in the groin. But the thing I'm learning on the race is that God loves everyone. Now I know I should have learned this in Sunday School but I don't think I really grasped it. And I don't think I grasped it because I didn't believe God could really love me. Really love me in an awesome and scary sort of way.
Playing a get to know you game with the kids
Slowly I've been learning what that love looks like. And of course it's incredible! I mean the God who created the world took time to create me because He loves me. I was created on purpose. But not only that, He sacrificed His son because He wanted me to have a fighting chance of spending eternity with Him. Woah. If you are currently shaking your head thinking, Well duh Melissa!" I want you (ok everyone do this not just the judgey kids) to stop for a moment and really think about who you are–how you look, how you act, what you think and what you say. Are there things that come up that you don't like? That wonky toe or that time you were short with a coworker because you had a deadline or the how every time a certain someone walks into a room you inwardly groan knowing you have to make awkward small talk. Now think about how God loves you in all those moments. His love isn't just when we're "good" or pretty on the inside and outside but all.the.time. Do you really know that and believe it with all of your heart? Mind blowing right? Ok now that the judgey pants have hopefully come off…
Jessie helping with song time
But as I've been learning that I've also been learning that because we (or maybe this is just me) don't really believe it, we (again this could just be me) have a hard time believing it's for everyone. We hear that God sent His son to die for us because He loved us so much and we instantly turn the us to me. Or when we hear someone say to a group that God loves you we make it singular to me not to the whole room, because the guy sitting over there is totally weird. We (or maybe just me) get so wrapped up in the beautiful, glorious thought that this is meant for me, He loved me so much that we forget that it's also meant for the weird guy (who probably isn't weird at all but my judgey pants tend to cloud my vision). And I think it's because we see how not awesome we are and it seems like such a stretch for Him to love us that how in the world could He love people who we view as "worse".
When we do youth programs they tend t be slightly chaotic with kids everywhere!
On Saturday I helped with a youth program and they were presented with the story of Jesus' birth and how God sent him here because of His love for us. And the kids nodded and answered the questions and really seemed to get it. God loves them all. Then we took them outside to play games. They had to line up against one wall and no one wanted to stand next to the gypsy children. They held their noses and glared at them. In that moment I wanted to shake small children (which is bad I know). It had not even been 10 minutes since we agreed God loves everyone. And I know part of it is probably they haven't put it together that if God loves people so should they but I also know a part of it is they don't view these children as worthy of love or kindness.
Trying to play duck duck goose–we had to always pick the gypsy kids when it was our turn because no one else would
And of course that's when I got punched in the gut that there are people I don't think are worthy either. In my mind I'm totally more worthy of love than those jerks with the hate filled signs. In my mind I'm better because I'm trying to share the love not exclude people from God's love. But then I remembered a time when I gossiped about someone and they found out and how hurt they were and that didn't show God's love. Or times when as a Resident Director I was too tired/weary/irritated to listen and comfort a resident in need. Wasn't I excluding them from love then? And even on the race I find myself withholding love from my teammates and people around me. My actions are not as obvious but are still hateful and hurtful. And yet I know God loves me. He loves me even when I'm being a bad representation of Him. He loves me even when I'm walking boldly into sin. So logically God loves them too.
Super adorable gypsy boys I hung out with today! They live pretty far off the main road but they waked us all the way back to the main road after the activity. So cute!
God's love is so big, incredible and doesn't really make sense. But it's there for me, for you, for those in unreached villages, for the businessmen and the homeless, for the people who are kind and good and for people who are filled with hate and anger. (though I believe He's super ready and able to make some changes in all of our lives to make us better people but that doesn't take away from His love)
How could anyone think these kids are undeserving of love?!?! Because they're gypsies lots people here think they are unworthy. Crazy! My favorite is the boy far left with the brown pants pulled up to his chest–so cute!
So do you believe in that love? Do you believe the Creator and Savior of the world loves you at your worst, your best and everything in between? And do you believe that same love is for everyone? That when John says God loved the world that he meant everyone not just the "good" people. I hope the answer to both are yes! If not email me and we can talk it out–it'll be a good time I promise!
Seriously every kid in every country loves duck duck goose!
Final thought: if you said yes to both, do your words and actions reflect that belief? Mine don't always but that's ok because 1. God still loves me and 2. I've realized they don't and I can only move forward from here.
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*So I miss you and love you guys tons! Just thought you should know.
*On a completely different note, my teammate Jenna wrote this blog and it spoke volumes to me so I thought I'd share with others. Enjoy:
http://jennakehrli.theworldrace.org/?filename=unexpected-expectations
