So in 10 short days I will have been home from the race for an entire year. I can’t believe it. And to be honest, I miss it every day. I know I’m where God wants me right now. And He has blessed me with incredible people and awesome opportunities here and now. But I still think I would trade in all the comforts of home and deal with flying termites (the most awful experience I had on the race) for one more month of ministry and community.
I’ve thought this for a while but a few weeks ago I went to the wedding of my team leader Evan and fellow squad mate Annee. It was kind of a big deal. Over 20 of us W squad got together to celebrate, to reminisce, to cry, and to build each other up. It felt so normal. I instantly felt myself slipping back into “World Race” culture and language. And I couldn’t have been happier. And as I sat and processed with my traveling companions, I realized that these 11 post World Race months have been a time of learning and growing too.
Before the wedding we had a costume party at a roller rink. We're awesome.
- I am changed. A fear while on the race is that the changes that happen will go away once you’re home. There are some ways I’ve slipped back into my past—sins, weaknesses, etc—but my attitude towards them has changed. For example, I still struggle with self worth. But before the race I would have just been sad and lost. Now I remind myself I am a daughter of the King and bride to the Savior. I am pursued, I am worthy of love, I have been chosen.
- Once you miss an entire year of pop culture it’s kind of hard to ever get caught up. I’ve given up.
- We were meant for community. These lies we hear from the devil are so hard to fight on our own. We need others to remind us of who we are; our identity in Christ. We need to build each other up, we need to be like Aaron and Hur holding Moses’ arms up!
You know you want to be part of this community!
- I could never live on Corn Flakes again. If I were to ever do the Race again I would pack a year’s supply of another cereal or spare ribs like they do in Cambodia!
Oh man, even though this diner is in the sketchiest neighborhood ever I could not wait for their delicious breakfast when I got home!
- t’s really hard to grow when people care more about not hurting my feelings then challenging me to be a better person. As I’ve come home and struggled again with my tone and how I present information it’s been crazy to have people not call me out, and also to then tell me it’s ok when I own up to it and apologize. No it’s not! I was mean and unChristlike! Forgive me but don’t give me permission to be that way.
- I am awful at keeping in touch. I miss my traveling companions with all my heart. I think of them all the time and pray for them. Pictures are on every surface of my house. Do I text? Call? Email? Facebook? Nope. Why? Because I’m lame.
Oh how I miss you!
- Ministry back home is 100 times harder than on the Race.
- I miss someone else making all my decisions. I find myself so stressed and worrying about every little thing that could go wrong because “I’m in charge”. Who cares if something goes wrong!?!? As long as I’m doing my best what more can I give? Giving worry does nothing for me.
- Speaking of someone making decisions and things going wrong. I need a full time logistics guy in real life. Somehow Cory and Nick got 50 people around the world yet I’ve already managed to get stranded in two different cities when traveling by myself! I miss you guys!
- The prison of comparison is awful and alive. I find myself looking at my squad mates and seeing them still serving either on the mission field or with the World Race or something along that line and I instantly feel like my “9-5 job” (which I referred to as a ministry 3 minutes ago) isn’t as worthy. This then comes out in my work and attitude. And I know I’m not the only one. I hear people believing that the work they are doing isn’t “good enough” because it’s not what someone else is doing. LIES! God has called us and placed us all in different areas for a reason. Trust and obey. Trust and obey.
My ministry now. Aren't they adorable?!!?!?
- God still speaks. The Holy Spirit is moving in America. Christ’s love/redemption is for everyone. Poor, abused Thai girl to rich, powerful American man.
