If you haven’t read the post about the red bucket. Go do that now. I promise it’ll be worth it. This is more or less part two of that story.
Now that you’ve read that and been filled in on all the details, I shall continue the tale. We left off with me getting sick. Luckily, I was only really ill for one night. I did spend the next couple days in bed trying to rest my body up. I wanted to be able to participate in the ministry that we were doing. But it seems my efforts were in vain. None of the food we were served (although delicious overall, it was decidedly unvaried and reminded me of what made me sick) looked remotely appetizing. After two days of eating nothing, I was forced down some apple slices. I was eventually able to add to that. But my meals were pitifully small regardless. Because I was barely eating, I knew I had no business going on long hikes in the heat. And so as weak as I was, stayed back. That became the theme for my month.
I felt so discouraged and quite frankly, useless. I would be a burden to my team if I went and did them no benefit by staying. As the days turned into a couple weeks I realized I was at the lowest point on the race so far. At night, I literally dreamt about American food. During the day, I wished I was home with Walgreens down the street, a Sonic pineapple milkshake in my hand and Netflix at my finger tips. In all my YWAM days I was never as home sick as I felt right then. And I realized I hadn’t told anyone what was going on with me. With the next day’s team time being my responsibility, I knew what God had laid on my heart for us to do. Starting with myself, we would share where we were at this month, how we were feeling and what God was teaching us. It was my time to be open about how hard it had become. As everyone shared, I felt led to open up time for encouragement after. So I told my teammates that if their hearts were stirred for someone to encourage them. I knew I needed some encouragement to continue. And that’s when Lyndsay shared with me what I had done this month. She looked at me and began to tell me what my presence has meant to the team. My ministry was those around me on the team. Whether it was emptying the puke bucket (yep, did that), or staying back to care for the sick teammates, or making team time alive. In her words, I was a light to my team and had changed this month for them. I was blown away. In my caring for those around me in small ways had a larger impact than I could ever imagine.
Sometimes ministry isn’t glamorous. And sometimes, it doesn’t look like how we expect. I didn’t do that much “official” ministry this month. Instead, I was able to minister to my team. And that is just as important.
