I am not who I am and I won’t be tomorrow either. It is true. I have not arrived, I do not have 
enlightenment in any way whats so ever about my full identity in Christ, about who He says I am. I don’t have it figured out. The truth of the matter is the moment I learn to except that I am still a very young, naive woman who has much to learn, deeper levels to go, and more and more character to develop the better.
enlightenment in any way whats so ever about my full identity in Christ, about who He says I am. I don’t have it figured out. The truth of the matter is the moment I learn to except that I am still a very young, naive woman who has much to learn, deeper levels to go, and more and more character to develop the better. Now before you go and comment below about how wrong I am, here my heart behind the following statements. I am certainly in no way beating myself up or speaking death over me. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I find my identity in Christ and He who the Son sets free is free indeed. I know all this. Those are concrete. Those are the words of God. They do not change. What I fully don’t know is who he created me to be. I am working now on untangling the web of a life of people pleasing, fear of rejection and failure, of labels, of others personal agenda’s, of MY CHOICES, walking in the flesh, and alll the environmental crap I have stuffed into me.
I can tell you again and again that I have seen levels of freedom, and I have been given victory in certain areas, but it hasn’t ended. This week we are working on building our Kingdom Dream and our Personal Development plans. As I worked on my Kingdom dream (a dream God has given me for my life, and for HIS glory) I hit the halt button and took a brief look at it from a whole new angle. A key component keeps hitting me over and over again, can I even go forward, without first starting with me?NO NO NO.
I read a story about a man that had a tremendous vision to bring health to families by building a counseling, crisis center. He researched, he invested, he built a business plan, he worked 16 hours a day. He got his dream and a month later, he was divorced, and to this day his son will not talk to him. As he worked to make other families stable he neglected his role as a husband and a father. HIs long hours made him tired, and cranky. He was short with people. He became fixated so much on the end goals and how to get there, that he never thought…”hey how is my family? How credible would I be to others?” He lost his ministry too shortly after. He had a great dream and he chased it prematurely.
“In the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Stephen R. Covey writes about us climbing the steps of a ladder to get near the top only to realize it was on the wrong wall. There is a principal of measure twice, cut once. It applies in your life. Have you measured out the fullness of who you are? Do you know the things that are concrete? Are you self aware? The biggest mistake you could ever make is to say “I know who I am.” You just limited who you could grow to be. I know where I am at today, for the most part. I know it is no where near who God has designed me to be. I know its a process of developing a continuing personal development plan, working hard on not just staring at that paper, but putting it into action and surrounding myself with coaches, and mentors that are going to challenge me, sharpen me and keep me accountable to the things I say I am going to do. But the thing of it is, it starts with me.
