It is funny how things tend to go sometimes. Life isn’t always what you expect and things don’t always seem to make any sense am I right? Well this month was no exception to the rule. Again we laid down all of our rights and expectations, we said yes and amen to all that God had in store for us. We said we wanted to spend it all, give it our best for our last month and I think so far we have been doing just that.
In the beautiful settings of Rolle Switzerland overlooking farm lands, mountains and the beautiful Lake Geneva my month of spending it all meant learning how to rest in the Lord, receive blessings, be more willing for brokenness and inner healing, trusting God that what was laid down needed to stay down, and love can look like a great many things that you never thought it could.
Now that I mentioned all that let me elaborate on some such things. First this month I have been battling things with my health once again. It began with a head cold and my ear being blocked, and then it travelled to my stomach and still problems with bladder issues. I felt like I was falling apart. I was still able to be involved with some of the work projects here at the YWAM base and I helped in the kitchen and sewing tabs on towels by hand for two days straight and little things like that, but I felt that the Lord wanted me to be okay with rest. Something that I have struggled with all year. I don’t like feeling weak and incapable. I have spent a lot of my life in beds and hospitals and it is hard to have to watch your team head out and your left to deal with all those thoughts about how inadequate you must be….all lies. I have been attacked with this lie since I was a child. It was something that God has been healing me of. Praise God for it. Today is was no exception. In the last two days the stress of going through inner healings has caused me to have an attack of fibro again and I have been struggling with the pain. (On a side note, I do not except this and we are praying again for healing and I would love all of your prayers as well please)
But it has been in these times of rest, that God has been giving me more revelations of who he is, who I am in him, and has been having me pray in new directions and for new and exciting things to come. I have had more time to be in the word and really chew on things. I am blown away by all the insight I have been given into King David’s life let me tell you. And I have been given a new peace and a new trust that runs deeper each day as more and more healing continues to happen.
The Lord this year has done a lot in showing me love. True love. Not the hyped up HollyWood love that is self serving and in the moment gratifying, but the deep, raw, honest hard to do sometimes love. I have learned how to love strangers and friends and family a whole lot more deeply then I knew I could this year, and God has been restoring broken relationships and helping me to be healed of the wounds of the past, showing me how to walk in complete forgiveness and grace. But there was one area in my life that I had yet to surrender to the Lord. It is an area that is very personal to most, but I hadn’t been able to surrender my love life, and my future reguarding all of that. I was still walking in a very broken state and trying to function in that and it was hard and messy, because I wanted to tell God what I think I should want and have. WHY do we do this? So this month was hard, I had to let go of things that I wanted and trust the Lord that he has what is best for me.
At the same time this month, with all of the breaking, healing and restoring, God has given me new and wonderful relationships with people that felt like family and home. He has blessed me with a place of refuge.
-Linda, is everyones mom. No wonder she is in charge of hospitality. She is warm and friendly and like a true mom she will fuss over you all day. She kind of looks like my step mom Linda as well and has that same amazing strength in her that I value in my own Linda.
-Kim is like a big sister who I can just sit and share with over a good latte (she makes the best) Her warmth is contagious and I have loved getting to know her. She is also super mom for her kids, whom I love. Hey Erica – I can’t help it if I am soooo popular 🙂
-Annie my room mate, has been a prayer warrior for me. She is the lovely lady from France and her prayers are forceful and full of love. She has given me great pearls of wisdom as I have faced the giants this month.
-Andrew is like having the super little brother. He is tall and athletic and he loves Jesus. He is the kind of all American Southern boy that you wish you had for a brother, respectable, honest and hard working. It has been a blessing to be his big sister in the Lord and encourage him and share good times like Settlers, family game nights and bon fires.
-Chris is one of a kind. His testimony rocks and he has a mother that I think deserves a special kind of reward for being so sneaky. Chris didn’t even know what his mother signed him up too when he got here. He knew the Lord, but was in a gang in New York and selling drugs pretty much right up until he got on the plane. God has been rocking his world and he is growing and on fire and its been awesome to watch. I know this man has a huge call on his life.
and there are so many more amazing people here, I could write about all of them. Each one is living out community and allowing us to be a part of it for the time here. It seems all to short, but we made the most of it while we could.
And then there is my team. I gotta say that I am a little bias when I proclaim that I have the best team. I am so proud of watching them work this month in both the practical daily life, the manual labour, and in the relationships they have formed and are pouring into. Dave, Lindsay and Steph have been working so hard this month on making some beautiful outdoor patio projects. They were just willing to dive in and do something totally foriegn to them, and I am blessed by that. Jen Den blessing the group with her mad skills in the kitchen. She baked up a storm for all of us. And as always her love for others had more than one person truly sad to have to say goodbye early. And God used me to lead an intercessory prayer morning and through that reminded me once again the joy it is to stand in the Gap for the nations. I am blessed at how they love me this year, and how I have had a chance to love them. Seasons change, and this one is coming to an end, but I know I will always have them in my life and that team Luminous will live on in my heart forever.
There is a new season coming and this month God was preparing me and clothing to weather it. My dear friends at YWAM you have been such a blessing. Thank you for blessing me with your prayers, your words of wisdom, your game nights and your lattes. I love you.
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