Surprise…. I’m in South Korea!
It’s been over a year since I’ve posted a blog… so I feel like it’s about time for an update…
Fun fact, I’m home for the race.
Fun fact, I worked at Adventures in Missions for a season after the race.
Fun fact, I now live in South Korea and am teaching English for at least a year.
So here’s a little bit about what the Lord has been doing in my current season of life…
The other day I was listening to a podcast and this simple truth flowed so eloquently from the speaker’s mouth and punched me in the gut…..
.. You begin to discover who you are, when you discover who the Lord is……
If you know me, you know that I’m known for my indecisiveness. I’m known for questioning everything, going back and forth, committing, then not committing, then committing again… and that endless cycle which leads me to exhaustion and always back to point A of what the heck am I doing, what do I want to do and what is the Lord calling me to do?
The journey and decision to come to Korea has been one that started in August of 2012. If you’ve walked with me through this journey, you know the exhaustion it has caused, and have had the endless conversations with me of: do I really want to go overseas again, is this a good idea, do I even like Asia, what about my life in America, etc… And now that I am here in Korea, my mind and thoughts still have that “snowball effect” of why am I here, what am I doing, and what am I supposed to be doing?
You’d think that after taking a year off to do missions work, spending a year at home being an “adult” working, and by age 25 (almost 26 in six days..) I’d have somewhat of my life together; knowing who I am, what I want to do, and where I want to go in life all figured out…. But the reality of it is, that regardless of that I claim or think, I am still just as clueless as I was three years ago…. If not even more lost now than I was before.
Before heading out for Korea, the Lord told me that my time here was going to be a season of solitude to discover who I was, my heart, my passions, and to dwell in the Fathers love and presence. To truly discover who He is and all that He has for me.
He took me out of my community and comforts, and led me to a place of solitude. Away from all I knew, but this time, not with 44 other people and not to 11 different countries. He’s brought me to a season in the wilderness where I can re-learn who I am (as if 25 years isn’t enough time to figure it out), what my hearts desires are, and the depths of who He is and the love He has for me.
I’ve been in Korea for eleven weeks, and to be honest these have been some of the most challenging weeks of my life.
More challenging than having typhoid and malaria in Africa.
More challenging than living in 11 different countries and cultures.
More challenging than deciding what toppings I want with on froyo. (ß if you know me, you know this is a big deal!)
But regardless of the challenges, and where the Lord currently has me, honestly, I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Unashamedly I admit I still don’t know who I am, and one of the biggest reasons is that I am yet to whole-heartedly discover who the Lord truly is.
What I do know that that I am thankful for a Father, who will bring me to seasons in the wilderness just so I can discover who He is, and re-learn what it looks like to be a beloved Child of God.
… you begin to discover who you are, when you discover who the Lord is…..
So here’s to the season in the wilderness…. To the season of discovering who the Lord truly is, to discovering who I am in Him, and who He is in me.
#sokoyolo
[** this will be my second to last blog with my world race account, stay tuned for the new link sometime next week…**]
