Why can’t I just snap my fingers and be done with it? I wish it were that easy…
If you read one of my previous blogs From Seductress to Bride, you will understand what God has been doing in my heart.
Basically, He is teaching me how to be a bride…His bride…and it hasn’t been easy.
Being 32 years old, I figured of course I am ready for marriage, but as He continues to teach me what this looks like, I see the truth. I am just a former prostitute, being genuinely loved and seen as worthy by a Holy God. And I am still being purged of my former ways.
I came home from squad leading on a high. I finally became extremely comfortable in my skin and I had a firm hold of who I am in Christ. But when you get home…to America…to comfort, your steadfastness gets tempted and tried.
My family means well,,,they really do. Its hard for them to see me single…going on 4 years now. They want to see me settled down and happy. But that’s the thing..I am happy. I love the life I live and I love the God I serve. Unfortunately, this world makes singleness, especially as you get older, seem like a disease. Like your someone that people need to feel sorry for…the last puppy left of the litter that no one wanted…that only gets adopted out of pity.
But….
- I know the voice of my Father.
- I know what He has promised me.
- I know the God that I serve.
- I know the way He sees me and the way He outrageously loves me.
I have ALL that I need in Him.
Everything else is just a bonus.
But…
My stupid flesh got in the way…again.
And I let my family talk me into joining an online dating site…
and another online dating site (something they have been suggesting to me for years since I got off of the race).
And boy did I get super convicted.…and here’s why.
Stay tuned for part 2 : )
