So……I haven’t been wanting to write what I am about to, but basically God told me to. My biggest fear in writing this series of blogs, is “What will my beloved F-squad think of me?”
My lovely F-squad ladies : )
I have been in the strangest season of my life….one that has taught me many a lesson, and not in an easy way.
I don’t know why I thought after 4 years of serving God whole-heartedly, that I would be free from what I like to call “danger”. And not danger from the enemy….danger from myself.
Courtesy of Tumblr
This season is a Job season.
As much as it makes me want to puke to admit this….. I harbored a LOT of self-righteousness and a LOT of “I am more spiritual than you are, and I have it all together mentality.” YUCK!
I never realized it until these past few months….AND…….I have stumbled in these past few months….a LOT!
The girl that I have tried to beat out of me for the past 4 years, has reared her ugly head again, and with vengeance.
Courtesy of polyvore.com
Temptations of my past life, have swirled all around me….and at first, it was easy to stand my ground. I wasn’t working, so I had ample time to spend with God in prayer and worship. My guard was up!
As soon as I started working full time, I no longer had that ammunition to fight and to resist. I didn’t realize how quickly and how easily it was for me to step back into being “her”.
I though she was dead…..I thought I wouldn’t have to see her face anymore…but I was wrong.
