It’s Not About Me

I
was born in New York City, and I was 10 years old when our family
moved away. My goal was to make it back to NYC, once I graduated high
school. Well it never happened, in fact, I haven’t been to NY in over
10 years.

While
I was in Kenya, the Lord had called me to go to Thailand. This would
be my next step, on this wild journey of following the Lord, to the
ends of the earth. At first, I was freaked out and excited at the
same time. As the exhaustion of being in Africa set in, I no longer
wanted to go to Thailand.

As
soon as I got to American soil, I worked the World Race Training
Camp, and I felt all this stirring inside me, that I could not
explain. I even told Jimmy, who is in charge of the Thailand trip, I
had to pray about going. I wasn’t sure this is what 的wanted
to do.

I
came home, and my sister talked me into auditioning for a hair show,
that was going to be in town. I decide to do it. Why not? I get my
hair done for free and I get paid in the process…can’t beat that!

I
was chosen to do the show, and had to work the whole weekend. Once I
got there, I was completely hooked!!! I loved everything about it,
especially all of the glitz and glamour! I loved getting my hair done
by hairdressers known all over the world, wearing expensive clothes
from top designers in NYC, and getting my make-up professionally
done. I especially loved being on-stage and walking the runway. I
could so get used to this life : )

After
the show was over, I was really down, I didn’t want this lifestyle to
end. The desire to move to NYC came surging back, and there was
nothing I could do to stop it. I was ready to hop on the next plane,
and start my life there! Then I remembered that there was something
God wanted me to do, but did He really ask
me to do that, or did I hear Him incorrectly? Maybe He was just
testing me to see if I would agree to it, but then He wouldn’t really
send me. He wouldn’t have given me this strong of a desire, to go to
NYC, if He didn’t want me to do it….right?

So
before I made any hasty decisions, I knew I needed to take it to the
Lord. And of course, all He did was talk to me about Thailand, and
how important it was for me to be there. Did I mention that going
to Thailand would be a commitment of 2 years? Everything in me wanted
to scream. I did not want to give up this desire of following my
dream. And then He told me, 擢ollow
your heart.

Well
what does my heart truly want
to do? My true heart’s desire is to please my Heavenly Father. What
pleases Him?….Obedience.

As
I was reading My Utmost for His Highest today, it reminded me that
salvation is easy for us, because it cost God so much. He saves us
and gives us His Holy Spirit. The rest is up to us to work it out.
Our job is to be loyal to Him, while everything around us is pulling
us to be disloyal to Him, and loyal to our flesh instead. The part
that convicted me the most: His honor is at stake in our bodily form.

Are
we truly honoring Him, with our bodies, after He has done so much for
us? So in conclusion, I am moving to Thailand next spring : )

Romans
12:1-2