The night after New Year’s Eve, I went to hang out with TWO and he wasn’t there. So Jordan and I decided to go to the Dragonfly Bar. I bumped into Da and two other girls that I have said hi to many times. We purchased their time and took them to McDonalds. Then we went and lit lanterns across the street in the square. We all said a silent prayer before we let the lantern go. After wards we walked in the market. The girls stopped to look at some earrings and Jordan and I said pick out a pair we will buy them for you. They said no we are going to buy them for you. Jordan started to cry…we were both so touched…we didn’t need to know how grateful they were that we took them out that night, that gesture said it all. Tonight I passed Ning, on of the “girls” ( he’s really a ladyboy), as I was walking with TWO to go get some dinner, he grabbed my hand and said “Stay, Stay”….my heart just broke. I wanted to be there with him so bad, but I just purchased TWO’s time. I told him I would be back, and after dinner I went back but did not see him there : ( I saw Da and invited them back to the coffee shop, so I’m praying they will show up before we leave for Cambodia.
On another note: Last night I passed by Two on the way to the night market. It’s Sunday so none of the girls wanted to go to the bars. It was supposed to be our rest day. I knew that last night was the night I had to give TWO the words God had given me for him. So I pulled him aside and said I was praying to my God for you, and He gave me some words, I wrote them in a letter. It’s in Thai so hopefully you understand it. He seemed really nonchalant about it, so I walked away feeling very peaceful. Then tonight I purchased his time, and he seemed really hesistent to even leave with me. I purchased his friend’s time too, to make him feel a little more comfortable. We went to dinner and played UNO, he seemed to have a good time, but I felt a major disconnect. He seemed to be keeping me at arms length. Justine said that means the letter got to him. Which I know is a good thing, its just hard to stomach him pushing me away. I asked him for his email so I could send him the pictures of us, and he said I will give it you tomorrow. We will both give each other what we need to give each other tomorrow. He started to open up about working at the bar as we walked back, and then next thing I know we were there. I asked him if he wanted to keep walking so we could talk and he said no he just wanted to stay at the bar. I felt a little hurt, but I know God is in control. Maybe God is allowing this to happen so it will be easier to say goodbye. All I can do is surrender this situation to my Heavenly Father. I trust You Lord.
Update: The next night (1/5/10) I went and said my goodbyes. It was very difficult, but I prayed and asked God to help me surrender everything that happened this month. He made it a lot easier than I thought, but it was still so hard to say goodbye to Two. He completely crumbled. Lord, I did what you asked me too Father. I loved him, showed him his worth, and shared you with him. All I can do now is trust….trust that he is in your hands, and that you won’t stop until His heart is Yours. I love you Jesus and I praise you for using me to bring light to such a dark place. We are now in Cambodia…we made it safely praise God. We are resting for two days and then the day after tomorrow, we will be traveling to a village where we will spending the next month. Thank you for continually keeping us in your prayers : ) God bless you!
