I can say, without a doubt, this has been the hardest month
for me on the race. Right when I thought I was spiritually mending, I realized
how far from it I really was. My physical body is breaking down…fast! My scalp
is irritated, I have a heat rash from neck to lower back, I have an ear
infection which is now spreading to my eyes, and I have an infected belly
button. I have never felt so physically uncomfortable, in my life, and because
of it, I feel like I am breaking down spiritually. I have prayed through
generational curses, I have thoroughly checked my self spiritually, to make
sure I am not giving the enemy a foothold anywhere, and I have prayed for
healing. Everything in me wants to throw my arms up and give up. I’m tired of
trying to persevere in a faraway country. I went to the roof and broke down
crying.
Maryanne, from Team New Song, spoke some very encouraging
words to me. She said many times we don’t understand God’s way of doing things.
However, we can stand on the fact that He is always good. She said He was
getting rid of my old body and giving me a new one, and when He does, it is
going to be glorious. Not only will I have new eyes that can see 20/20 but I
will have a whole new perspective. When God heals all of these physical issues, I will have an amazing
testimony to share with others, especially with those who want so badly to give
up. They will see that God is faithful, and have hope to persevere.
Her words comforted me so much and I began to see things
clearly. Yes, everything in me is screaming to be completely restored, but I
will push through. I know God is about do so some radical things in my life.
