This past week we had a 3 day conference called The Awakening. B Squad plus 3 other World Race squads from around the region came together to learn, teach, worship, and love the Lord. Staff from the base here in Thailand joined us as well as straight out of Spain, Andrew Sherman, the main speaker.
On the second day we had an active break out were we broke into groups and went into the city to evangelize or talk to anyone that would listen. If there is one thing in missionary work that I dislike the most, this is it. This is probably one of the scariest things you could ask me to do, but I was partnered with 3 other people I didn’t know, and this was not the time to be a chicken. So I put on fake confidence and hid my nerves. After walking around a local park for a bit, my group split into two’s to initiate conversations.
My partner and I walked up to an older couple sitting in the grass. They were happy(ish) to talk to us but it quickly became clear they believed earth and everything on it was an accident. It also became clear they were down for a good debate on multiple things, including race discrimination in the States, to comparing Jesus to terrorists. I’ve never knowingly talked to an atheist about Jesus before, and my brain instantly started going blank. lol. So we told them what we believed, they hated it, but then I asked them to tell me what they believed. It broke my heart that two beautiful souls lived with the idea that there is no point to life, that Jesus existed and died, but many people die for what they believe in.
After praying for them, moving on, and hoping to meet a non atheist, we sat down with a pretty, blond haired girl from England. She was so sweet and open to talking about religion. She grew up Protestant, but going to church was more of a charity for her family, so one day she just quit believing in God and decided we were an accident. Another atheist. She had many questions, and she respectfully let us tell her everything from the beginning of creation, to Jesus dying on the cross, to being risen. It was obvious she was searching and didn’t really know what she believed. At one point she said Hell was probably more fun then Heaven, and its where the artistic, free spirited, people go. Again, with this belief, another piece of my heart broke.
I ended the day feeling really, really discouraged. I was like ” God, for the first time I go out and evangelize with a happy heart, and you send me to not one, but THREE atheists?! Like what in the heck, don’t you want me to grow in confidence? This actually makes me never want to evangelize again, because what I believe just got shot to the ground.”
Yall, I complain about never hearing from the Lord, but He’s actually constantly talking to me through brilliant thoughts He puts in my head. This time He told me:
“Yo, look on the bright side. You faced one of your biggest fears and boldly told someone that you believe in me. Today, you told three people how loved they are by me. It’s not your job to make them believe that. Its your job to share my story. You caused 3 people to think about me and what they believe in, and that is enough.”
If you want to know what else went down at The Awakening, my team mate J. Wolf wrote a really cool blog. If you struggle with feeling loved, please go read her words that were only thoughts in my head.
http://jessicawolf.theworldrace.org/post/awaken-beloved
In other news, I think Asia is pretty neat and has really good coffee and muffins..
