Nine months ago at the launch of my World Race, every Racer was given a Giving Key. A key with a word pressed into it, looped on a chain for necklace. Each was prayed over and given to each of us with the idea that the Lord knew which we needed. The Lord would take us on a journey in whatever the word is and when the Lord prompted, we wouldgive it to someone else. The key I was given said “healed.“ I laughed when I read it. Really God? We haven’t done enough of this? I know I’m healed, we’ve been over this just about everyday for like six years. And I really had been over it what seemed like a million times. Healed. No more anxiety. No more depression. I got it.
I had asked the Lord about my key, but there was nothing but radio silence. I went through the whole first month in Romania never once taking my key out of its spot among my toiletries. I was waiting. I figured the Lord would tell me about it when He wanted to. It wasn’t until Ukraine that I began to understand. See, within that first month in Romania, the Lord taught me a whole lot about the discernment I walk in. So as we entered Ukraine, I was no longer ignorant to the heaviness of the country, to the spiritual battle going on everywhere. I would describe the spirit in Ukraine as restricting, maybe even going as far as crippling. The church we were doing ministry in was definitely not a relief to this attack, if anything, it was heavier inside. My whole team felt it, the change in our demeanors when wet entered the church each day. What I quickly recognized? My weakness. The place the Enemy saw as an opportunity to hold on to me, was in the anxiety.
Because I have spent roughly half my life battling the grip that anxiety had on me, when it began to sneak in I just blamed myself, stress, diet, just about everything but the direct attack of the Enemy; it was his easy way in. That’s when the Lord prompted me to pull my key out from it’s dormant place. In this, it became a sort of weapon. I hung it around my neck and tucked it into my shirt on those days that I knew were going to be difficult. It was not only a reminder to pray, a reminder of the power I had over the Enemy, but it was also a physical symbol that pushed the Enemy away. I am not saying I believe the metal of the key itself held any power, I do believe that the Enemy knew it was a declaration that I was the Lord’s, because I had said it was. In the words and belief, it held power.
I continued to use my key this way. It was a weapon and helped me fight the Enemy on a lot of really difficult days as I continued my Race. I now absolutely knew why the Lord had chosen that key for me, but because I used it not to grow in the word or concept on it, instead using it as a weapon I questioned if the Lord would actually ask me to give it away. I had realized that anxiety would probably always be a way the Enemy would try to get to me, so I figured I could always use the key. As month nine was concluding, this seemed rather reasonable, as I had no conviction at all to give my key away.
It was our final day on the Race, while sitting in worship at debrief, that the Lord spoke about it. I had my eyes closed and was singing until the Lord drew my attention to a squadmate sitting across the room from me. The key was for her now. Here’s what the Lord said, “You’ve fought a good fight, you’ve used this key as a weapon along with the other tools I’ve given you (scripture, pray, community, etc), but now its time to lay it down. This was for this battlefield. You will forever be on a battlefield until you reach Me, but different seasons bring different fights. This is for her now, this is for her to declare.” I knew it was true; I watched my squadmate fight a hard fight this last year, and I have seen the healing the Lord has brought to her life. I sat in some really low places with her and I watched like a proud mom as she used all she had to climb out of there. She walked in so much healing this year! So I handed my key over to her, explaining it all from my journey to how it connected to hers. Then, choking back tears we prayed together.
I am healed. I knew this before and I know it now. The Enemy can try but he will never drag me back down to the places he once had me. With or without a physical key, I know how to fight. I have been handed tools, and I know that the battles I fight are just part of a war already won.
To the one healed and healing, my only words now are these:
I am so incredibly proud of you, you are fighting the good fight. Use the tools you’re given. Press into the Lord. He’s got you. I’m fighting alongside you through prayer whatever this next battlefield looks like.
