On Thursdays we have activations, which is talking about things that can activate the Lord in our life. The first one was about identity, which really hit hard. This Thursday was on hearing the Lord. Surprise surprise something I really struggle with! The Lords voice is something that I really don’t understand nor hear or get. The talk was really good, but I felt hopeless and unsure what I was supposed to do in order to achieve hearing the Lords voice. We went outside for 20 minutes to just process what we heard and see if we could talk to the Lord. I felt like this was not about to happen, but I just closed my eyes and thought to myself ‘Lord what do you want to say or show me?’ Closing my eyes I get an image of a fish. A fish… I’m thinking to myself, really a dang fish? So I try really hard to make something out of it that maybe it was about the ocean and how it’s deep. I closed my eyes again and got an image of a butterfly. A BUTTERFLY… Again I was like what in the world am I suppose to do with a butterfly and a fish? Are you going to give me a whole zoo next? I had no idea what it meant that except they were different. Different. So different and so important. For instance, fish are so necessary for the ocean and butterflies are so necessary for the land. A butterfly cannot do a fishes job and a fish cant do a butterfly’s job. The Lord just said “Don’t you get it?” I’ve really struggled with my identity and trying to be like others or finding ways to make myself look like the perfect Christian and in that I get left so empty. My team is so incredible and I love them but they have things I wish they had; but I don’t. I get it Lord. I opened to Romans 12 where it talks about the body of Christ and not one person can do another’s job in the body. The Lord was showing me I am a butterfly and though I may want to be like a fish I am not. I was so perfectly made to be me and though I may not see the things I feel like makes me, me, I do know that I have something great. I was made to be perfectly placed on my team, squad, friend groups because I bring something great! The Lord speaks to everyone and it’s a matter of time of fully believing it. Thank you God for letting me be a woman of patience to not have to have all the things immediately. Thank you for allowing my heart to be more willing. Thank you God for how much you make yourself known.
