“Keeper Of My Heart”
Kari Jobe
From the first to the last breath I breathe
The Lord watches over me
You hear my cry and You know every need
The Lord watches over me
You never fail me, God
I lift my eyes
I lift my eyes up
Maker of the Heavens
Keeper of my heart
I lift my hands
I lift my hands up
Standing in Your presence
You are never far
I look to You where my help comes from
The Lord watches over me
Your mercies are new with the morning sun
The Lord watches over me
You’ve never failed me, God
My strength
You’re never ending love
I know You have overcome
I’ll sing when all is said and done
You’re my hope, my only hope
This past month in Malaysia has been a pressing time for me. It’s not always easy to rely on God for every little detail and it’s not always easy to tell Him everything. The fact that we get uncomfortable telling God our inner secrets is humorous. We worry about opening our hearts and souls to the One who has all knowledge about each one of us. But it’s that fine line of KNOWING that He is all-powerful and all-knowing and truly believing it. We try to hide away from God. We seem to think that if we don’t completely open the door to our hearts then maybe He won’t notice those sins or mistakes. OF COURSE HE WILL! He already knows and He’s waiting for us to grab His hand and repent of those sins. He truly WANTS to forgive us. He sits and patiently waits for us to come, loving us all the same. God pursues us each day and He WANTS us to ask Him for the blessings He has waiting for us. He WANTS us to completely rely on Him. He WANTS to give us the desires of our hearts. He WANTS to give us life abundantly. The scariest thing we can do is to NOT fully trust in Him. Life is so much more amazing and full when we put our relationship with God first and we put all our trust and faith in Him. But as a Christian we need to have community here on earth also; physical beings to confide in, love us and with whom we can be vulnerable. I’m learning this month how important this is. Being vulnerable with people who love us teaches us how to open up more with God.
I used to think that I was a very open and vulnerable person; that I was an open book for all to see. I have been learning throughout the Race that real vulnerability is so much more then I thought. Each month I have been growing in being completely real. This month has been a roller coaster of emotions. I am being pushed and prodded. God is pushing me to new levels of vulnerability with my teammates and with Him. He isn’t letting me stay anywhere near my comfort zone. My team is safely pushing me to new heights of knowing myself and letting people know me. They are a “safe place” in which I can grow and learn about myself. They show me how to be more like Jesus every day. They show me what true love for others is. We aren’t content letting each other be “lukewarm” Christians but call each other higher and to be more and more like Jesus everyday. It’s good to call people higher, to encourage them in the things they do that are like Jesus and to gently and lovingly call them higher in the areas where they could work on things. Christians need to push each other higher in their relationship with God. We need to work as a community, we need to BE the church. In the Bible it says, (1 Thessalonians 2:11) Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
This World Race community is so raw and real that it is impossible to stay the person you were when you started the Race. I’m learning to embrace my own spirituality and figure out who I am in Christ. It’s OKAY to be where I am. It’s OKAY that others may be more spirituality mature then me. It’s OKAY that I am still finding my voice. It’s OKAY that I’m still finding my way to a deeper relationship with God and learning to see and heal all the unGodly traits within me. He doesn’t just love me in spite of those things, He loves me as if those things never were!
