These past few weeks have been and incredible time for my team to build deeper relationships with the guys. One kid who we have gotten to know well is named Josue.
For weeks Josue tried to persuade my teammate Emily, and me to sing in a show that he was singing in. Knowing my fear of singing in front of people and lack of confidence in my voice, I kindly said no over and over again. A few days ago, however, he pleaded with us once again, so we finally agreed.
So today when we showed up at the center to travel with everyone else to this show, we were a bit puzzled when there were more people there than we had ever seen, and they were all dressed in suits and dresses. Apparently, what we thought was a “small show” was actually a graduation. Cheers to the language barrier.
When we showed up to the formal graduation in crocs, jeans, and the typical missionary, “kids don’t care what I look like so neither do I” look, we naturally decided that singing wasn’t an option for us. Well, that was until we found out that our names were already printed in the program.
And so my dear friends… we sang.
I wish I could tell you that somehow I lost all fear the minute I went on stage. I wish I could tell you that it was a fabulous experience and I found my calling. I really, really wish I could tell you that after we finished we got a standing ovation from the crowd. None of these things happened. In fact, my fear was so crippling I was in tears before we went on stage. I laughed from nervousness during the song. I received the exact words, “it wasn’t that bad” from my teammates.
I was kinda hoping God would somehow magically make the whole thing awesome. And although he could, he didn’t. And as much as that frustrates me, it honestly doesn’t matter.
Because although no one else benefited from our performance, Josue did- and that’s what matters. It doesn’t matter that we sang like idiots and were dressed like fools. We came to Guatemala to bring joy to people who need it- and that’s what we did.
I still don’t like singing in front of people and I most definitely will not be standing on a stage anytime soon, but seeing the smile on Josue’s face afterwards made it worth it.
