I’ve been experiencing a crazy mix of wonderful opportunities, challenging obstacles and undeserved blessings since I’ve been home from the race.
Having ATL (Ask The Lord) ministry the last month of the race prepared me so well for reentry. I felt like being home was almost a continuation of my ATL month. I have had to ask the Lord everything: where to sleep, what to do with all my free time, where to serve, who to pursue intentional relationships with, and how to make time and space to spend in His presence. Not being assigned to a specific ministry in Malaysia was a lot like coming home without any of life’s “specifics” in place.
Those “specifics” that I was lacking were quite hard to establish all at the same time. I didn’t realize how I wouldn’t be able to buy a cheap car
because I wouldn’t be able to take out a loan
because you can’t have a loan if you don’t have a job
and how can I possibly have a job without a car to get to work.
And on top of that, I needed my own space and couldn’t find a place to live.
And on top of that, the lack of schedule and commitments were stressing me out.
And I had these crazy desires to get up off the couch and go serve the needy.
It was all so overwhelming and I felt like I couldn’t do much of anything.
Then the craziest thing happened when I prayed. (Of course… God either loves when I realize this for the umpteenth time or He wants me to quit being so surprised about it). I prayed that if He wanted me to stay in Casper, I really need Him to show me and make it possible.
The next day I found a cute little house to rent and a job! Totally undeserved, unexpected blessings.
It’s so crazy when God reveals His plan to me or confirms His will. And then throws blessings on top of it all.
If I’m totally honest, I didn’t want to stay in Casper. Ask anyone on my team month one of the race.
They heard a lot of; “I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want me in Casper after the race. It’s lame there too. I’m not going back”
I was pretty adamant about moving somewhere new after the race.
And what I’ve found since being home is that obey and stay is sometimes harder than obey and go.
It wasn’t too hard to confirm that I’d be staying because He called me to rather that simply justifying staying for myself because it’s the seemingly easier route.
However, I want to make sure that I am constantly seeking God and what He desires for me rather than settling or becoming complacent. I don’t want Casper to be a fall back, where I know that I can survive.
Because one of the many, many lessons I’ve learned on the race is that I don’t want to simply survive. I want to thrive as well.
I know that God wants me to stay in Casper for a little while. He’s made it clear. I don’t know why and I don’t know how long.
But I think He’s got something there for me.
And I don’t want to miss it.
So I am going to take advantage of where He has me.
I have realized a lot of relationships that I need to be more intentional in.
There are several ministries that I can be involved in at my church.
And I need to live in that cute house with my cat and practice cooking for a while. 🙂
And I also I think that the fact that I am a completely new person after the race is an important reason to stay. It will be a time of solidifying my new identity in old places.
And then… who knows where God will lead me. He’s been stirring a lot in my heart here at Project Searchlight this week. It’s been wonderful.
But before I allowed it all to be too distracting, I wanted to remember where He has me cerrently I needed to write this blog to get focused on being present in the place that he has me right now. (Well, not literally right now, because I am currently enjoying the company of my N squad friends in a coffee shop in Gainsville, Georgia. And I don’t think I mentioned yet that I absolutely love it here)
So here’s is to the next whatever-amount-of-time in Casper. It could really be 3 months or 10 years. Time will tell. I’ll stay until I hear obey and go.
Let’s do the blast.
