How can I know the Lord if I do not talk with Him? It is time that I begin vocalizing my thoughts to God; that I begin pouring my heart out before His feet. Yes, he knows me to the depths inside and out but he still longs to hear from me. He longs to hear my voice.
All I want is just to know your heart & won't you keep me here until we're one?
All I want is for you to know my heart & won't you keep me here until we're one?
A relationship with the Lord, as with any other relationship, is a two way street.
A give and take process.
Lately though, I have noticed that I am eager to seek the Lord and hear His voice. I'm quick to ask Him to reveal more of His character to me, quick to ask Him to reveal things within me– sins that need to be removed, gifts that I need to be using, direction as to where the He wants me, etc.
I am a listener.
It is not a bad thing to be a listener.
Heck, lets be honest, listeners are rare to come by.
Over time though I have become a taker.
Asking for more of His heart & failing to give Him more of mine.
Its not a balanced relationship.
& it stunts our relationship's growth.
& I am seeing how I do the same thing in my other relationships as well.
Just listening.
Learning about people and who they are, where they've been and what they are learning.
Quietly taking their stories as they share their hearts with me.
Listening but rarely talking.
Revealing nothing about myself.
& my relationships hit a wall becuase while I have so much of them, they have little to none of me.
Deeper relationships cannot existed with a heart this guarded.
Is it fear that keeps me quiet?
Is it my past? Is it the idea that I don't have anything to offer?
It does not matter. What I do know is that I am frustrated with hitting this wall.
Frustrated enough that I am ready to change.
Yes, the Lord knows me to the depths. He knit me and formed me but it brings joy to His heart to hear the voices of His children.
But rarely do I come to God presenting my heart and all that comes with that.
How patient He is quietly waiting for me.
Waiting for me to say that I am ready to live with my hands wide open instead of clasped tightly around my heart.
I have a voice & I will use it to call upon the Lord.
"As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore, Eli took her to be a drunken woman. And Eli said to her, '"How long will you go being drunk?'" Put away your wine from you." But Hannah answered, "No my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my spirit before the Lord. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vextation." Then Eli answered, "Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.'" 1st Samuel 1:12-17
