Dear friends,
First I want to thank you all for the incredible amount of love you’ve shown. Over the last week I’ve received endless encouragement and prayers. You have no idea how powerful your kindness has been. Your prayers have given me the strength to finish ministry in Africa.
I wanted to give you an update of my last week since giving up.
Simply put, I was not able to do anything. I showed up physically. I said yes when I wanted to say no. When internally I was screaming to go home, to be anywhere else, to be on an adventure that was more glamorous than seeing a pig eat the poop of a child, I stayed.
And it was the most impactful week of my race.
2 Corinthians declares “‘my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
When I got out of the way, when I stopped believing I had anything to offer, God was able to have full control and use me more fully than I’ve ever allowed him.
On Sunday we attended church in a local village. I stared at the red dirt all the way from our new tented home to the mud building, trying desperately to keep everything together. I failed, of course. It rained while we sat in the wooden benched isles and I let a few tears slide alongside the sky. It was in that moment the pastor looked at me and declared I would be giving the message in a few minutes.
God and I had a conversation in those few moments. I asked him what on earth I could tell these people in the middle of my tears and frustration. How did I have a right to speak when in my heart I didn’t even want to be there?
And God spoke. I prayed that I would get out of the way and the Lord would show his love. I remembered a sermon from years ago when a pastor talked about Ahava, the Hebrew word for God’s love. It’s an action. If you have money, but keep it in a jar, is it worth anything? You have to make a transaction for the money to truly have value. This is the same with love. If you say you have it, but keep it in is it truly worth anything?
By God’s grace I was able to share this idea of love for an entire sermon and answered questions as well. God was faithful in that moment. He chose to use me in my brokenness and showed his love through my showing up.
Over the next week we lived in two villages. We talked with households and village leaders. We attended a counsel meeting and spoke with the chiefs. In the first village the Lord used me to bring three people to Christ.
The second village was a witch camp. Women and men are sometimes accused of practicing witchcraft, a certain death sentence. In the middle of the night these people will run to witch camps, where they are protected once they undergo a cleansing ritual. We had the opportunity to hear the stories of these persecuted women and men. The majority of them were blamed for the deaths of village members. Everyone we talked to reported these were false accusations. Even if they are proclaimed innocent by the chief, the villagers will still come to murder them. The witch camps are safe, but they are also covered in shame.
We held a meeting for the people living in the camp. We spoke of love. We reminded them that they are not forgotten, that the Lord sees them and cherishes them. A woman stood up and told us they are constantly told they are worthless. She beamed as she spoke, telling us that it was good for them to hear of the Lord’s presence. She said it was balm to her heart to hear that they were remembered.
When we asked if anyone wanted to receive Christ, 28 people stood up.
Now we’re in Eastern Europe resting beside the Adriatic sea. I’m in a place where it’s easier to feel happy and capable. It would be natural to rely on myself and say the joy I have is my own. Nevertheless, I want to remember the importance of getting out of the way. I have the same substance to offer when smiling seems a daunting task as when frowning seems just as impossible.
My friend Meg said our strength is dependent on circumstance. We are weak when we do not have enough food, exercise, rest, perfectly balanced hormones, and the list goes on. God’s strength is not contingent upon circumstance. Why would I continue attempting to rely on my own strength when it so easily fails?
I will rejoice in this season of weakness because God’s strength is more evident to me now than it ever has been.
My prayer is as this European season progresses and it might be easy to become prideful of my work (it’s at a camp, y’all) I will only boast in the Lord and his strength. The whole purpose of this race is defeated if people are looking at me and praising my work. I’m here to bring the kingdom of God to earth, not the kingdom of Mel.
Be weak today. Get out of the way and see what God will do. All you have to do is show up.
