The few weeks before launching for the race I was avoiding time with the Lord. Working through shame and anger, I was afraid if I talked to the Lord he would convict me and make me have difficult conversations.
Thankfully the Lord is patient and when I finally began talking with him again he wrapped me up in love, not anger. Though he did challenge me to have these hard conversations, they allowed me freedom from the shame I had been holding onto.
Unfortunately, I had fallen out of a pattern of spending time with the Lord. I had this idea that once I got on the race my relationship with God would magically become perfect and we would fall into a rhythm effortlessly.
As it turns out, having a relationship with the Lord takes work no matter what country you’re in. For the sake of being honest with you, I have not been spending daily intentional time with the Lord. I fell out of habit and it did not automatically appear like I thought.
I have the desire to be close with God, but have allowed my time to be filled with business.
This morning my team was supposed to be picked up at 6:40am for ministry. Our driver did not show up. After standing in the rain for 45 minutes, we decided to ask our host what we should do. He called around and informed us we would be picked up at 9:30.
What an amazing God we have, who pursues us relentlessly.
Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you see me with all your heart.
This morning he gave me the gift of time. He said, “I am going to ruin your plans so you can spend time with me.”
Friends, my heart is so full. God’s love is enduring. He is patient and gentle. He wants us to spend time with him, but he is a gentleman. He will not become angry and force time, but sometimes he will allow us to be stood up in the rain on galentine’s day.
I took that as a hint.
I spent time soaking in the song Broken Vessels by Hillsong and want to share the words with you. Please read them and allow the Lord to speak to you like a gentleman.
All these pieces
Broken and scattered
In mercy gathered
Mended and whole
Empty handed
But not forsaken
I’ve been set free
I’ve been set free
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I’m found
Was blind but now I see
Oh I can see you now
Oh I can see the love in Your eyes
Laying yourself down
Raising up the broken to life
You take our failure
You take our weakness
You set Your treasure
In jars of clay
So take this heart, Lord
I’ll be Your vessel
The world to see
Your love in me
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I’m found
Was blind but now I see
Oh I can see you now
Oh I can see the love in Your eyes
Laying yourself down
Raising up the broken to life
