Dear Abba Father,
“Here before your alter, I am letting go of all I held, of every motive, every burden,
every thing that’s of myself. And I just want to wait on you, my God.
I just want to dwell on who you are.” Kari Jobe
I am blown away by your faithfulness this month. I praise you for “you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love” (Nehemiah 9:17). I do not deserve your provision, your mercy, your grace, your forgiveness, your presence in my life. I don’t deserve a relationship with you, Jesus. But I am so grateful for all those things and the way in which you lavished them on me this month. God, thank you for guiding me through Bulgaria, and the parallel self-pilgrimage, in your strength.
I can’t count the times this month when I pleaded to you and said I’m so broken, tired, weak, I need you – I can only function in your power. And, Lord, you came with your overwhelming peace. You made your voice known and provided a plan for each day. Thank you for revealing new life in brokenness.
Thank you for paying the price for my sin and ugliness on the cross. Thank you that I don’t need to work for your love and acceptance. And, thank you that I don’t need to be perfect, because you are perfect in my weaknesses. But, God, thank you for the privilege it is to serve you and to grow more like you in the process. Continue to change my heart and motives so that my labor will be out of love for you, not out of a desire to be loved by you.
I know that I have been broken and filled to be emptied again. Thank you for this time to change and heal. Now, Lord, I ask that you make the nations my inheritance. Break my heart for the people I am going to meet in Israel so I can pour out your healing and love. Break my heart for Turkey, Africa and Southeast Asia. Give me eyes to see these places as you see them – full of goodness and justice; give me ears to hear your words of direction; and give me your voice to speak life into dry land.
“I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.”
Psalm 119:32
For Your Kingdom,
Melanie
