Two years ago, I had just had the conversation with God where He told me He wanted me to go around the world loving on people.
One year ago, I was in Mozambique, struggling with fear and insecurity about the new person He was showing me to be… I was encouraged to celebrate the new life that I had been given in Him, but it somehow did not seem like a celebration to me as I was vulnerable and exposed.
And today, all I can do at times is sit and weep over the Father’s love for me…for it is time for a celebration…a celebration that no matter what I have done, no matter what I have said, no matter how many times I turned my back on Him, no matter how many times I hurled insults His way, no matter how many times I gave up on myself, He never did.
He never left me…
He never left me…
As I sat and pleaded for Him to just let me go, He loved me.
As I sat and pleaded for Him to just give up on me, He wouldn’t. He just loved me.
For 30 years I never believed His unconditional was for me…for me…for Melanie Joy…
And over the last eight months as I was trying to convince Him that He didn’t really love me and giving Him all kinds of reasons not to…He came in and invaded my space…He came in and captured my heart…while I was running from Him, He brought me into His loving embrace.
While I was trying to give my heart away, He came in and showed me that it was not about what I did or did not do for Him…He just wanted me to know who and Whose I am…
And to know that I am loved…I am loved…not for anything I have done…but for simply who I am…and that is enough…
He is enough. His love is enough.
I still don’t really get Him…and I won’t till I get to sit with Him…to be honest, I think He is ridiculous…He uses pain to heal, doesn’t shy away from suffering and sorrow, and will make us as uncomfortable as we need to get till we are so desperate for Him that if we don’t choose Him, we will surely “die” from living out of the flesh…
I thought He took me around the world to show me what He wanted me to do for Him…
When all He wanted me to understand was that His love for me is not conditional…
He loves me for who I am…
He loves me, Melanie Joy…
And all that He wants me to do is to receive His love and to love others in return.
It is that simple.
So this is what I shall tell the world…
I will share my story…and begin with the most amazing Truth…
Jesus loves me, Melanie Joy Barber!!
